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UniqueUsername82D t1_j6jnuzt wrote

8 billion people in the world and there's 12 personalities?

Mmk.

486

ux3l t1_j6jqmv0 wrote

Just play along if you want her

−11

Korblox101 t1_j6jsrci wrote

I’m not into astrology, but my sign is surprisingly accurate, so I do give it the slightest ounce of credit.

−22

CabidoMusic t1_j6jt9fp wrote

I purposefully lie about my birthday just to see what kinda bullshit they’re going to spew out their assholes

169

naerisadon t1_j6k2vfh wrote

A friend of mine said

You re obviously not a lion, everything but a lion

...

Well let me tell you the story of my birth...

40

Sqkwuatche t1_j6kb95z wrote

Pleasw Stay away from women like this.

4

ory1994 t1_j6ke5kf wrote

A joke from Jimmy Carr:

“There’s a name for people who believe in the horoscope. They’re called single women.”

25

Jamie_FindThatVideo t1_j6kgopx wrote

Replying to naerisadon (#1,630,198)

This lion, the king of the jungle, with this big giant mane, and this hot, smothering weather in Africa. And the small lions come up and poke at him, bite on his ear, bite on his neck, and the lioness comes over and bugs him. Then you’ve got the jackals and the rest of the wilderness looking and seeing these lions on the mountaintop. They come over and bother him. They eat all his food…

6

Saif_Horny_And_Mad t1_j6kk8pt wrote

being a weirdo with a completly random behaviour and personality is the only thing i like about myself, because it confuses and scares astrology shit believers

4

AuthorSarge t1_j6kntc2 wrote

Back when I was waiting tables, I once had a numerologist convert my name to its numerical values and then further reduce it to the number 2.

"This shows duality. You're split. You won't ever be whole until you stop being a 2."

"You want me to change my name?"

The tip was rather small that time.

38

Deadsoup77 t1_j6kpwp4 wrote

Replying to CT_4269 (#1,634,171)

Aries!

The look on your face will be priceless when you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon

Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep

25

BasakaIsTheStrongest t1_j6kqbdl wrote

“I can guess your sign in 12 tries.”

“A scorpio, eh? Let me guess: you breathe oxygen, and enjoy things you like. Your horoscope says to trust people, unless they’re untrustworthy.”

146

mysterio-man19 t1_j6kz1gf wrote

Astrology mfs be like "Sorry for killing you 9000 times, I'm a herbivore"

13

Bromjunaar_20 t1_j6l0bu2 wrote

Like, I'm not defined by what newsletters say about my birth month. I'm defined by having an actual conversation with me and actually getting to know me.

1

SomePi5 t1_j6l0cim wrote

Position of the stars have nothing to do with your personality.

Even if you sarcastically corrected someone that guessed your horoscope, they’ll still agree with you 🤣

5

realgoldxd t1_j6ldg3r wrote

And then they say “oh it must be a different day cycle”

2

marshalzukov t1_j6lea19 wrote

And then, if they're especially scummy, they try to sell you something

5

Meocross t1_j6ljyxk wrote

I keep forgetting my Gemini sign until it is brought up on why i like vanity and jewelry so much.

2

ChrisARippel t1_j6lkfjj wrote

One boss asked me my sign. When I said Virgo. He said ok because you will be neat. Your predecessor was not and this upset his staff. I nearly laughed because I am not.

10

Mr_Blu_Sq t1_j6lngza wrote

Im a Cancer,...we dont believe in astrology.

4

SealToothNecklace t1_j6lrqqr wrote

Is there a sub for this sped up style of meme? I really like it but don't see it often

1

obscureferences t1_j6lsi7n wrote

Redditors love to bash astrology, as if they wouldn't be so happy a chick is even talking to them they'd try and remember everything they can about it.

2

Working_Mastodon2619 t1_j6ltu7f wrote

You left out the "Oh that makes sense!" When you tell them your sign.

Which begs the question "If it makes so much sense, why wasn't it one of your first 8 guesses?"

8

Empty_Supermarket_30 t1_j6lwjl0 wrote

Yeah but when I get it right first try it's impressive and when I don't it's funny, so what is the argument for not doing it? (without the part of explaining the person's personality)

1

GoodChristianMother t1_j6lz7tp wrote

When asked, Iie twice about my sign, then they go on their stupid fuck shpiel about how Capricorn aren't compatible with nicodemi or some shit

1

Clussy_Enjoyer t1_j6m02a5 wrote

Name one thing young girls are allowed to be interested in without being made fun of

3

jayellkay84 t1_j6m1nyx wrote

Strangely just tonight I had a coworker correctly guess both my co-manager and my sign. But she also just started and can’t know us well. Probably just very lucky guesses. Probably.

2

eigi_einhver t1_j6m5c4q wrote

dude i hate that, if you didnt guess the first time you dont know what your talkin about, read a book lol

2

syskeyx t1_j6mh0oa wrote

Some astrology girl had a fight with me about that topic she said if it isn't real then why does the moon have influence on the sealevel. I was speechless..

2

LiveLoveLaughable t1_j6mhksy wrote

Replying to mrfroggyman (#1,650,346)

There was a rock in a space somewhere, so now you are more frugal! Because somehow your personality is decided by the moment your mom pushes you out. Not by conception, not genes, not slowly formed while your brain formed. Nope. Oh and also it will cause you to have a bad Thursday at work next week. Bye!

8

Karpaltunnel83 t1_j6mkpkd wrote

According to astrology, I am: Extroverted, Energetic, and confident yet stubborn.... except that I am none of these

2

Alien_X10 t1_j6mrawc wrote

I'm pretty sure mine was a Leo, idk what that means but I'm just assuming my personality doesn't match it.

Either due to a super inaccurate description or maybe I'm just unconfirmed to be bipolar

0

LocustSwarm36 t1_j6mvfa1 wrote

A friend did my reading or whatever, and I’m apparently the equivalent of a demon. So that’s cool. Who wants to join my astrology demon club?

1

Sinewave90 t1_j6mwgvb wrote

Replying to UniqueUsername82D (#1,638,435)

Those are the origins of the zodiacs, all the 12 zodiac signs are star constellations from those 12 areas, it's believed that the babylonians basically invented the horoscope 3000 to 4000 years ago (IIRC but no clue how accurate that is tbh)

1

Cbjmac t1_j6nx0o9 wrote

I prefer to judge people based on their controllable personalities, rather than the month they were born, which they have no control over

1

DeviousDeevo t1_j6o9f6v wrote

Thats pop.astrology Bs. Not legit ones . Pls feed me ur downvotes , I'm hungry

1

AgoraSoul t1_j6p3psr wrote

"I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical" Arthur C. Clarke

2