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jlm_pix t1_jee7w5a wrote

I was genuinely hoping the pandemic was going to put an end to the whole weird handshake thing forever. I know people who transitioned to the elbow-bump thing and it was always all I could not to say "Hey, you know we could just... not insist on touching each other for no reason, right?"

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Cerulean_IsFancyBlue t1_jeeznlo wrote

Physical contact is part of standard getting and bonding for many humans. The problem is when we either weaponize it (handshake grip contests) or when we, once again, impose the “normative” model on everybody.

I wonder what it would be like if I grew up in a culture where men routinely did the air kiss thing to each other or held hands in public as friends. Would it have changed my attitude towards contact and made me more of a touchy person? Or would my life just be even more uncomfortable than it is now?

Anyway. I like stuff like these bands, because it allows people to set their own boundaries in a way that other people can see and understand. It’s also a reminder that when you are dealing with other people, it’s worth stopping and thinking about those things, even when you’re not in the situation with wristbands. Look for cues. Go slowly.

I don’t think we’re going to change some peoples basic desire for physical contact as part of a greeting. What we can do is, normalize consent and normalize respect.

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Aztecman02 t1_jeg54jc wrote

There is nothing weird about handshakes. Humans are social creatures and touching/embracing is part of that. Handshakes have been part of human culture for thousands of years. I think it’s more weird that people need these passive aggressive colors to let others know they don’t want to interact.

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jlm_pix t1_jeg6n3n wrote

Whether or not handshakes are “weird” is an entirely subjective opinion based on your personal views and related to how and where you were raised. It’s a little interesting to me that you’ve conflated what is a polite way to indicate a dislike for physical contact with strangers without rebuffing a handshake nobody thinks to ask for ahead of time with a “passive aggressive” way to not interact.

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Aztecman02 t1_jeg8doj wrote

To me it is passive aggressive and it’s probably an extension of social media culture. People haven’t learned how to interact with strangers in the real world. Somehow humans figured out how to communicate their want/or not of a handshake for hundreds and thousands of years without a color reference palate. It takes something away from social interactions if your body language can’t do the talking and instead you just have some color label to express your emotions/desires.

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SoraUsagi t1_jegbd0i wrote

Not accepting an offered handshake is considered rude. There is no way around that. And I'm perfectly fine with them myself. But there are plenty of people who don't want to shake your hand but do so anyway so they don't appear rude.

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jlm_pix t1_jeg9lk2 wrote

I don’t know who offended you by not wanting to shake your hand, but I’m not as committed to working out this issue here as you are. So I’m just gonna go ahead and nod and smile.

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