This is going to be a bit of a rant but I'll keep it short. I just rewatched the excellent, excellent movie Barb Wire last night, and I couldn't help but think to myself, what happened to movies like this? Some of you are going to think this is a shitpost but it's not. Barb Wire is a perfect movie. It executes what it sets out to do perfectly, there's not a single thing that I would change about the movie. Not a single scene that I would remove. It is exactly what I want out of an action movie: entertaining. I am here to be entertained. Is Pamela Anderson's performance completely 2-dimensional? Yes. Do I care? No, she's there to flash her tits and say the lines. I've never read the comics but I assume that her performance is actually incredibly faithful to them.

You've got boobies, you've got explosions (real explosions! And they are impressive), youve got gunfights, real stunts, real sets, goofy costumes, interesting side-characters, world-building, and a passable script. All of the actors play it straight and are well-cast character actors instead of just trying to jam as many big-name actors into the movie as possible.

I will never understand the trend of action movies that just want to be so bROodInG and gRiTtY and dark and ooh its just emotionless men killing people and they are so badass and the movie is tonally so flat and sERioUS and I'm gonna make an action movie but dont laugh or have a good time just say "ooh what a cool guy he is killing those people". Who fucking cares? Bourne movies suck, John Wick is mid at best, Daniel Craig is awesome but the daniel craig bond movies fucking suck (except casino royale). No Time to Die is fucking horrible, who goes to action movies to be sad????? wtf??!!?

MI and MI:2 are the best mission impossible movies
Roger Moore is the best era of Bond
Kingsman was an incredible breath of fresh air
action movies peaked in the 80s/90s and are worse now

If you actually think that Pamela Anderson's performance in Barb Wire is an impediment to enjoying the masterpiece that is Barb Wire then I am sorry but you do not understand action movies or why they are fun and enjoyable and you deserve your flat, milquetoast, boring action movies like The Gray Man.

Comments

doc_55lk t1_jef8v2u wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:08 PM

#2,536,390

Ah yes, our obligatory daily contrarian. I was wondering where you were.

njdevils901 t1_jef9chv wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:11 PM

#2,536,571

Okay, we don’t care, I think the John Wick movies are pretty overrated but people like them so I don’t give a shit. Stop complaining about what other people like, it is just embarrassing

gunter_grass t1_jef9tgf wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:14 PM

#2,536,710

I think action movies have actually gotten better plot wise.

Derfal-Cadern t1_jef9u0f wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:14 PM

#2,536,719

Replying to njdevils901 (#2,536,571)

Fuck me, this 100x. These posts are so annoying

Onepunchmanworkout t1_jefa3ow wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:16 PM

#2,536,802

>Some of you are going to think this is a shitpost

>You've got boobies,

Gee, why would we think that?

HowIsYourBreathing t1_jefa5pp wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:16 PM

#2,536,816

If you like the 80's and 90's ones better, why not ask for suggestions?

[deleted] t1_jefb4yh wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:22 PM

#2,537,097

[deleted]

ThatIowanGuy t1_jefbb2e wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:24 PM

#2,537,149

>Barb Wire is a perfect movie. It executes what it sets out to do perfectly, there's not a single thing that I would change about the movie.

If this is your metric for a perfect movie than Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is going to blow your mind.

charleyismyhero t1_jefc00w wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:28 PM

#2,537,362

Replying to doc_55lk (#2,536,390)

We are only allowed one a day, OP, and you used it up on Barb Wire.

alexxerth t1_jefcrsr wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:33 PM

#2,537,591

There's a lotta movies out of Hong Kong and China that are stupid fun action movies. They tend to be somewhat comedic, but the actors play it straight it's just comedy from how ridiculous the events are.

Thundahcaxzd OP t1_jefdn02 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:39 PM

#2,537,887

Replying to Onepunchmanworkout (#2,536,802)

are you gonna sit here with a straight face and pretend you dont like boobs?

Thundahcaxzd OP t1_jefdttm wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:40 PM

#2,537,937

Replying to doc_55lk (#2,536,390)

oh shit sorry for trying to discuss movies on the movies sub, my bad

Next-Mobile-9632 t1_jefe9h9 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:43 PM

#2,538,061

If you actually liked Barb Wire, you'll love the girl prison escape movies of the early 70's filmed in the Phillippines

[deleted] t1_jefecmn wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:43 PM

#2,538,090

[deleted]

Onepunchmanworkout t1_jefefxw wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:44 PM

#2,538,111

Replying to Thundahcaxzd (#2,537,887)

Are you gonna sit here with a straight face and pretend this isn't a shitpost?

Thundahcaxzd OP t1_jefeihp wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:44 PM

#2,538,130

Replying to ThatIowanGuy (#2,537,149)

never seen it because I always viewed those movies as just CGI-fests but I would probably enjoy it more than Broody Gun Shooter Man 5000

Thundahcaxzd OP t1_jefenwf wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:45 PM

#2,538,181

Replying to Onepunchmanworkout (#2,538,111)

define shitpost. everything I wrote was 10000% genuine.

DrRexMorman t1_jefg76o wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:55 PM

#2,538,652

Check out Brian and Charles

charleyismyhero t1_jefhrz8 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 5:05 PM

#2,539,147

Replying to Thundahcaxzd (#2,537,937)

Don’t sweat it. Everybody falls for it at first.

Thundahcaxzd OP t1_jefi389 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 5:07 PM

#2,539,239

Replying to charleyismyhero (#2,539,147)

shit, is it too late to change the title of my post to, "Requiem for a Dream is a good movie but difficult watch"

charleyismyhero t1_jefj336 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 5:14 PM

#2,539,543

Replying to Thundahcaxzd (#2,539,239)

You just need a time out to think about what you’ve done, and after that you can come back and tell us all about how Apocalypse Now is underrated.

foundyetii t1_jefsji2 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 6:16 PM

#2,542,472

I would argue that all 4 John wicks are wildly entertaining. I would say that style of movie is a “popcorn” moving. Hollywood still makes lots of those.

katril63 t1_jeft22r wrote on March 31, 2023 at 6:19 PM

#2,542,646

Claiming MI2 is one the best Mission Impossible movies tells me everything I need to know about your mental state.

Thundahcaxzd OP t1_jeg2x8u wrote on March 31, 2023 at 7:25 PM

#2,545,730

Replying to katril63 (#2,542,646)

Right back atchya

tempaccountinterval t1_jeg7w2c wrote on March 31, 2023 at 7:58 PM

#2,547,409

Replying to Thundahcaxzd (#2,537,937)

Quick, mention Quentin Tarantino to get the upvotes!

tempaccountinterval t1_jeg8ahv wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:01 PM

#2,547,537

John Wick awesome. James Bond Craig Skyfall and Casino Royale awesome. Action movies from that era - Stallone, Arnold, Willis, Van Damme awesome also chuck norris. Bond movvies - Dalton best before Craig era. Action movies good ones still out - Top Gun 2 epic, Nobody was SO GOOD! BobOdenkirk ftw.