I disagree that she’s not responsible for his feelings. The way you act towards someone else results in that person liking you, disliking you or feeling indifferent towards you. So her being intimate with him, saying things "I never told that to anybody" and spending a lot of quality time with him is leading him on as well as showing him that she is also interested in him despite her saying she’s not. She’s sending hardcore mixed signals which is kinda shitty.

You either want a relationship or you don’t, but then you have to act accordingly to your statement. If you don’t want a relationship then don’t act like you’re somebody’s partner, which she definitely did a lot of times.

In the end both characters are shitty people with wrong expectations in each other and that’s why they don’t end up together, but just framing Tom as the bad guy and her as innocent is disingenuous. He sucks for not listening to her, she sucks for using him despite it being obvious that he’s totally into her.