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MightyMeat77 t1_ix4e80p wrote

I’m 44 and in the same boat. Other than work, college or church there’s no place to meet your special someone. Matchmaking services like Together NH are far too expensive, and tend to result in a “one and done” date. Online dating is futile for men who don’t look Hollywood ready.

I know this doesn’t help with meeting others, but I can let you know what doesn’t work.

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[deleted] OP t1_ix4eieu wrote

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MightyMeat77 t1_ix4flon wrote

I feel the same way about church. Faking it just to meet people feels a bit too dishonest.

I got used to going on vacation by myself. Took some cruises out of Boston. Go to Foxwoods for a weekday holiday.

I don’t like presenting myself to people just to see if they “get butterflies” or “feel chemistry”. It’s demoralizing and a waste of time and money.

Go to the gym. But don’t do it for the expectation of meeting someone or getting a body to attract someone. Do it for your health.

You may not find someone, it’s not required. But do your best to enjoy and experience life. Once you start, someone will come around to stop it.

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glitteryunicornlady t1_ix4kdfo wrote

I spent too much of my life wanting to be around others, to the point that the thought of being by myself was terrifying. I've spent the last few years learning to love being alone.

Now I like being alone too much...can't win. Lol

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MightyMeat77 t1_ix4kop5 wrote

There is being lone, and being ALONE.

Friends and family are important. Do your best to encourage that.

The special someone need not be an all consuming priority.

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glitteryunicornlady t1_ix4l52d wrote

Yes, true. And learning to get over my dependencies has actually helped strengthen my relationships with family and friends I've had for many years. I'm not the clingy bastard anymore lol

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[deleted] OP t1_ix4p7ef wrote

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MightyMeat77 t1_ix4pz1z wrote

I understand that feeling.

I’ve also found that I only experience things that I make happen. If I want a conversation, I have to start it. But like with anything, it takes practice. Start easy, common subjects and choose to be agreeable. Once that gets comfortable try more complex subjects you are knowledgeable in, then try politely disagreeing with points that you have simple facts to back it up with.

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SheeEttin t1_ix5010s wrote

Gyms are not a good place to meet people. Almost everyone is just there to do their workout.

Unless it's a group class. They're always very social (and usually in front of the machine I need while doing it).

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