I'm from NJ (Monmouth shore town), been in the city for 15 years. I know the mailman, and we have a close knit and somewhat large group of friends from the community, mostly from the immediate neighborhood. Our elected officials come to the community board meetings and Civic association meetings. It's great. Don't get me wrong, I love it in NJ, but your experience is anecdotal. In NJ I was always in my car and that limited my ability to meet people.