So I have the dumbest effective thing to suggest. Safeguard makes a "notes of coconut" liquid hand soap. This fucking thing's notes are like the 1812 overture played by Beethoven trying to hear the music. It is OVERPOWERING. We have a kid in diapers.... Someone washes their hands in the next room and ALL YOU SMELL IS COCONUT.

I imagine part of your senses is your brain playing tricks on you. If that's the case, death by coconut might actually be helpful, because you will have a new trauma, and that shit is "notes" of coconut.