The mine used to be my town's pride and joy. Certainly was my Daddy’s. Every morning he’d walk out the front door with this ridiculous smile plastered on his face. You’d think he was a war hero with the way he held himself. It was like that with all the miners. You could pick them out of a crowd just by the twinkle of pride in their eyes and the chins they kept pointed at the sky. They knew what they meant to this town and had no qualms flaunting it. 

I remember growing up and thinking I wanted to be just like them. Didn’t matter if I was a girl. I could swing an ax better than any boy my age and everybody knew it. That was my Daddy’s doing. He’d talk about me all the time, the other grown ups said. Did you see little Stacy? He’d say. I’m telling yah. One of these days, she’s gonna dig us a hole right to China. I liked hearing him say things like that. Other kids had to worry about what they wanted to be when they grew up. But I was gonna be a miner. The best miner this town had ever seen.

I can tell you the exact day that all ended. July 10nth, 1993. It was a Thursday. Lasagna night. My Momma had everything all cooked and ready by the time my Daddy came home. I remember hoping from the dinner table the second I heard the front door open. Daddy, Daddy, I screamed as I wrapped my arms around him, but my excitement was meant with a sobering silence. I looked up at my Daddy and I’ll never forget what I saw. He wasn’t smiling no more and that don’t mean he was frowning either. He just stared ahead with these heavy eyes filled by stomach with stones. He didn’t look human, not a lick. More like a corpse someone had forgotten to bury. 

The vein was drying up, he told us. No one knew how much longer it’d last, but its days were numbered. I didn’t know that was possible until that night. The mine had always been there since before even my Daddy was a babe. It drying up seemed impossible. That’s how I took the news, anyways. I told myself it was all just silly grown up stuff. Whatever would let me ignore it. But then miners stopped heading out for their morning shifts. Then the bills started piling up. Then my Daddy stopped smiling all together. 

I remember waking up one night to the sound of my Momma and Daddy hollering up a storm. I’d never heard such a thing before, I thought the house was being robbed. Being the child I was, I crept out from my room real quiet like, hoping to catch them burglars to my surprise. Wasn’t until I recognized my parents' voices that I knew something much worse was happening.

“I’m telling you, Shelia. Me and the boys have worked those mines since we were Stacy’s age. Know it like the backs of our hands. We know there’s something else down there.”

“For God’s sake, Carl. Listen to yourself. You’re talking about gold or silver while I’m over here trying to find some real solutions.”

“We are not going to your sisters, alright?”

“And what. You want us to stay here? The only thing worth a damn in this town was that mine and now that’s dead.”

“The mine ain’t dead!!”

I gasped. I’d never heard my Daddy raise his voice like that, not to Momma. They must’ve heard me too because shortly there after, my Daddy called out “Stacy, that you?”

Panicking, I replied “No?”

My Daddy chuckled. “Come on out, sweetheart. Ain’t nothing to be afraid of.”

I crept from my hiding spot and rushed over to my Daddy. He picked me up and set me down on his lap like he always had. My Momma didn’t say a word.

“Did we wake you?”

I nodded. “I thought you was burglars. I was gonna break your legs.”

“Were you now? I guess we won’t be needing that guard dog then.” He laughed and looked to my Momma only for the joy to die on his face. 

Whatever was eating my Daddy crept into me when I saw that and I asked “Is the mine gonna be alright, Daddy?”

He didn’t say nothing for a good while and when he spoke, his words were tainted by that hesitation “Of course it is. That old girl’s served us well since long before even your grand-daddy was born. It ain’t quitting on us yet.”

“Don’t lie to her, Carl.” My Momma voice snapped like the head of snake.

“I aint, Shelia. Stacy, the mine is gonna help us. It’s just gonna do it in a different way now.”

“Will I still get to break rocks with you?”

“If all goes well, you might not have to.”

“But I wanna break rocks!”

“I know you do. But wouldn’t you like a bigger bedroom instead? Maybe a cute little doggie instead. Or how about that little pick up truck you’ve been eye at the toy store?”

“You said we couldn’t afford those.”

“Well, that might not be the case for much longer, darling. You see, there’s silver down in those mines.”

“Oh jesus christ.” My Momma muttered.

“It’s true, Sheila.”

My Momma sighed and then dolled up her voice before saying “Stacy, why don’t you go back to bed for me now.”

“But I’m not tired.”

“Tired ain’t got nothing to do with it. You got school tomorrow and me and Daddy need to have a talk.”

“Can’t I stay.”

“Nope. It’s for grown-ups only.”

I moaned like any little kid who didn’t get her way.

“Now enough of that, missy. Of you go or else you’ll be walking to school tomorrow.”

I looked up at my Daddy who smiled back at me, but it was his I love you sweetheart, but listen to your mother face. I moaned again and marched back to bed. Not that I got a lick of sleep that night. Not with my parents hollering up a storm.

I woke up the next morning and my Daddy was gone. Momma was sitting by the window still, staring out with a look I’d never see on her before.

“You alright, Momma?” I asked.

“I’m fine darling.”

“Where’s Daddy?”

She paused and it felt as though it lasted forever. “He’ll be home for dinner, Stacy. Now go get yourself ready for school.”

I love my Daddy, more than most people move themselves, but there’s one thing I’ll never forgive him for. He made my Momma a liar. I still remember looking through my classroom window and seeing the smoke billowing up from the mountain. None of us kids knew what it meant, but the sirens that came screaming up the mountain were happy to fill us in. I came home that day to my Momma bawling her eyes out. I asked her what was wrong, but she just kept on crying and crying and crying. Didn’t say a word about the mine or my Daddy. Still hasn’t.

I learned from school that a bunch of the miners, my Daddy included, had stolen a bunch of company equipment and took it deep, deep, deep into the mountain. It was said they were chasing silver or gold, anything that’d keep the mine alive, really. What happened next is still unknown. Us kids thought it was a stray piece of dynamite that brought the cave down on top of them. The grown-ups said it was a case of them getting careless and hitting a piece of stone they shouldn’t have. I had some real choice words for those folks. My Daddy was the best damn soul who ever worked these mines. He wouldn’t have buried himself unless he wanted to. 

It was hard those first couple of months. The house felt empty. It didn’t matter if you were in the kitchen on the shitter. You knew there was something missing even if at times you didn’t know what and that never went away. Only thing that happened was it got a little easier to live with. 

My Momma really took it all in strides. First thing she did after the funeral was get a job bustling tables down at the old dinner. Between that and the insurance, we were able to live comfortably enough. But that didn’t mean we were staying. I overheard my Momma on the phone some nights, talking to my Aunt. It was never over details like driving out or selling the house. I think my Momma had already planned out a lot of this. The only thing in question was the date: December 10nth. Just in time for Christmas.

“I don’t wanna go!” I said to her, “You can’t make me!”

“Like hell I can’t, missy. We’re going and that’s final. Understand.”

“But what about my friends? And Daddy. How are we gonna visit him?”

“I told you, you’re Daddy’s not in that mine. He’s in heaven now and heaven is everywhere.”

“No he’s not. His body’s down there. We can’t leave it alone. Daddy wouldn’t want-”

“DON’T-” My Momma pulled back the second she heard herself, but it was too late. I was already trembling in my night skirt. ‘Don’t you talk about him like that. Your Daddy’s gone. And this is what we need to do so we don’t end up like him. So the least you can do is act like a big girl and not throw a tantrum at every single little thing I do. Understand” 

She wasn’t screaming no more, but her words were no less bitter. I went back to my room trembling that night and just before I closed the door, I could hear my Momma start to cry.

That night was another sleepless one. There’d be a lot of those since the cave-in, but this one was special. Something my Momma said didn’t sit right with me. Grown-ups always talk about heaven when people ask where the dead people go. But I knew where my Daddy was. He was down in those mines and come sooner or later, I was gonna leave that all behind. But I was damned I would without saying goodbye. So I laced up my shoes, got my winter coat, and snuck out through my window sill without so much as a peep.

That night was a bitter one. Autumn’s chill winds chewed your nose raw and conducted an army of icy needles to dance across your skin. Even with all my layers, I was still shivering like a beat dog as I made my way to the mine. Almost made me turn back a few times. Almost. I ran along the dirt road connecting the town to the mountain as fast as my little legs would carry me. It was a miserable journey, but not enough to stop a girl on a mission.

The old mine was almost unrecognizable. With no way back in, the company had come and collected all its machinery and mobile offices, leaving the place the world's most expensive parking lot. Only trace of what had been was embedded in the side of the mountain. Most of the debri had been cleared from when rescuers had tried to dig their way through. They’d done a decent job too. The entrance to the mine was clear enough to get my hopes up and I raced inside like the devil was biting at my heels. I thought it’d have a clear path down to where my Daddy lay until I smacked face first into the mother of all boulders.

It didn’t do much to knock me down. It’d been in far worse scraps. But it did quite literally knock some sense back into me. Moonlight leaked in through the mouth of the cave and illuminated boulders bigger than I blocking my path. I knew deep down that was what I’d find, and yet, looking over the wall, I started to cry. 

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” My words were mangled by all the snot and slime running down my face. “I was gonna visit. I promise I was. I’m sorry for leaving you alone. I promise I’ll be good. Please.”

I stumbled towards the wall and hugged the big stone I’d run into. “I’ll be good. Just come back. God, if you just bring him back, I’ll be a good girl forever and ever. I’ll go to church, I’ll do my homework, I’ll be really nice to Momma. Bring him back and I’ll do it. I swear to you. I swear.”

The cave echoed my words back to me. It was the only reply I got. Or at least, so I thought. As I hugged that mighty stone, ear pressed flat against it, I heard something. 

Clank

Clank

Clank

The sounds of metal striking stone.

Clank

Clank

Clank

And it was coming from the otherside of the wall.

“DADDY!?” I cried out, jumping back from the rocks. I’m not even sure why I said that, but once the word was out there, I couldn’t ignore it. “Daddy, I’m here!”

I jumped at the rock wall, trying to find some way through. I started moving aside some of the smaller rocks I could get my hands on. It was stupid so it fit me perfectly at that moment. I jostled loose dozens of stones, but they were mere peebles compared to bigger ones sealing up the passage. My frantic efforts, however, were not in vain.

I wrenched loose another stone and suddenly, this massive plume of dust blasted me in the face as the rock suddenly shifted. I stumbled back coughing, lungs filling with dust. When I finished digging the sand out of my eyes, I saw there was now a tiny passage cutting through the debri. It was a pathetic little hole, barely big enough for a dog to fit through, but the perfect size for, say, a small child.

Being the fool I was, I doze for that thing like a rabbit from a fox. The tunnel was quite the snug fit, forcing me to wiggle through the damn thing with my arms pinned at my sides. Jagged rocks cut my coat and even left a few marks on me. The air was impossible to breathe, what with all the dust filling it and my eyes began to burn with all the gunk that drifted into them. But none of that mattered because in the distance I could hear that sound growing louder and louder.

Clank

Clank

Clank

Eventually the tunnel gave way to this giant stretch of empty space. I scurried to my feet only to stop when I saw the darkness surrounding me. What little light that worked its way through that tunnel was swallowed up by that deep, dark shadow. My bravery fell away until I was just a little girl standing in the dark.

“D-Daddy?” I called out, only for my words to be swallowed by a familiar rhythm.

Clank

Clank

Clank

I took a step forward, trying to force a smile on my face. It couldn’t be too bad, I told myself. This was the mine, afterall. They probably just had some tables and benches lying around. Nothing to be afraid of. Not with Daddy down there with me.

Step by step I stumbled deeper into the mine, guided only by the distant sounds of stonework. I’m still not sure how I got outta there with my ankles unbroken. I called out into the dark a few more times, but nothing ever replied. That had to be the worst part. Aside from the clanking, I was all alone down there. I’d been by myself before, but the feeling of absolute isolation was crushing. I was starting to think it was just me down there when I saw something pierce through the darkness.

There was a light out there, albeit a pathetic little thing. It flickered as if constantly on the verge of dying, but it was more than enough for me. I lunged forward, not caring what I might come smacking into. Not with my eyes glued to the flame like they were. Soon something else began to take form, a body outlined by the light. My heart nearly skipped outta my chest.

“DADDY!!” I cried as I lunged at the figure and gave him the biggest bear hug in the whole wide world. I didn’t dare let him go as if me touching him was the only thing keeping him real. Snot and tears were running down my face, making it hard to even get my sobs out. Not that I needed to anymore. My Daddy was here. And I didn’t take that for granted either. I was gonna make good on everything I said. Only thing I could think of was all the homework I had to catch up on when we got home. Seems silly now, looking back, and that was before I felt the maggots crawling up my sleeve

Now I may have been a little girl witnessing a miracle, but I was still a little girl and those fuckers were big as I’d ever seen them. In the flickering light I saw them falling from my Daddy’s pant leg onto my arms. Like I said, they were meaty fuckers with fat, bulbous bodies the size of your damn thumb. They even had this weight to them I could feel through my sleeves. And their faces, good god, they couldn’t even do that right. They were like flies with those alien mouths and big, inhuman eyes catching the light, all of which were looking right at me. 

I yelped like a shot pooch and jumped back, frantically swatting those things off of me. Even now I’m still not sure I got them all. I can see feel their little legs crawling up my back and tickling my skin. Most crawl off into the dark after falling, but a few of them I saw inching their way back to my Daddy. As I watched, they climbed his boot and disappeared under his pant leg. I rushed forward to squish them, but that was when I finally got a good look at my Daddy.

In one hand he held the stub of a candle under whose light I got a decent enough view of his face. I almost didn’t recognize him, there was so little left. Deep gashes criss-crossed his features, but there wasn’t any blood. Through them all I could dust stained bones peering out with scraps of dry fleshing hanging from them. A rock had speared through one of his eyes, undoubtedly scraping the back of his skull too. But none of that could compared to seeing what crawled through his mangled visage.

I could see them poking through his skin. Through his wounds I could see others crawling around inside. One of them crawled out through a hole in his neck, scurried along his face, and then disappeared after wiggling its way into his skull. Whatever hope I had of squashing them all died in that instant. 

But through it all, the wounds and that maggots that dwelled inside them, I could still see my Daddy. Couldn’t even pretend it wasn’t him all full of worms. Yet as I looked up at him, he didn’t look back at me. His remaining eyes, milky and lifeless as it was, were focused solely on the wall he stood before. In his other hand he raised the end of a pickaxe and beat it against the stone over and over again.

Clank 

Clank

Clank

​

Clank 

Clank

Clank

​

Even in death, my Daddy was the greater miner you’d ever seen. His hand, nothing more than bone and dry skin, was still steady as the stone he chiseled at. There was no other way to do it. That’s what he always told me. Any work worth doing is worth doing right. Pretty sure he got that off a poster or something, but by good did he live by it. Die too, I suppose. 

And those things crawling around in him, they were giving him a chance to do just that. Inch by inch he’d carve away at the cave, looking for something to bring back home to us. With every strike, a crusty piece of flesh drifted from him. With every strike, cracks raced up his old ones. With every strike, he persisted. But this mine, these walls, they were long dead. 

“D-Daddy?” I didn’t know what I was saying, but that didn’t stop me. “Daddy, please stop.”

Clank 

Clank

Clank

“We’re going to Aunt Tiff’s place now. You don’t gotta keep working.”

Clank

Clank

Clank

“Daddy, you can stop that now. There’s nothing down here.”

Clank

Clank

Clank

“Can’t you hear me? That wall’s empty. You’re not gonna find anything anymore.”

Clank

Clank

Clank

“Stop it!” I begged, spit flying from my mouth. “Stop it now, please! That line is dead. This mine is dead! All of it is dead!”

CLANK

CLANK

CLANK

“Stop it! You’re fucking dead, so just stop it!!” It was then my words finally caught up to me. They hit the cave walls and came bouncing back at me before settling like nails in my gut. For the first time it all felt real even if it hurt so goddamn much. I couldn’t let my Daddy keep digging away at those walls. He deserved a good long rest. Even a little brat like me could’ve seen that.

He swung his ax into the wall and when he went to pull it back, something stopped him. He looked down to find what had interrupted his work and saw a little girl hanging from his sleeve. She was standing on her tippy toes with her fingers just barely holding on. She couldn’t have stopped him. I think somewhere deep down he knew that. But for just a second she might’ve been able to make him listen.

“It’s alright.” I said to him, “You can stop working now. I’ll take care of Momma, now. We’re gonna be alright.”

He stared at me for the longest time. I can’t say what he was thinking. Maybe whatever was left of him couldn’t even do that. But whether it was, be it him or a pile of squirming worms, it heard me.

It lowered its arms, settling me on the ground before dropping the ax. It clattered to the ground, heavy and lifeless, before he turned, pressed his back to the wall, and lowered himself to the floor. He rested his head against the stone and simply stopped. No more movement apart from the worms under his skin. No light safe for the candle dying in his hand.

I wanted to hug him one more time. Just give him the biggest squeeze ever and feel his warmth once again. But I knew that time was long past. I turned and started fumbling my way back out of the cave, leaving my Daddy to his rest.

No one knows exactly what happened that night and I’d prefer to keep it that way. I'm only writing this now to get it all out my head. Whatever found my Daddy down in those mines, I don’t think we want it up here with us. If you're reading this thinking you might wanna try and find them, I welcome you to try, but know that you're just wasting your time. There's nothing worth finding down there. Not anymore.

Since then, I kept my promise. Momma and I moved out to my Aunt’s where she managed to find a decent job working retail. It wasn’t always easy, but we survived. I never told her what happened that night. Even if she believed me, I don’t think it would have done her any good. She’s doing well last time I checked. Settled down with some guy named Frank a few years back. He’s boring and has a voice like sandpaper, but he’s also good for her. 

As for me, things have been steady. Got my degree a few years back. Work’s been smooth. A little bumpy, but nothing to complain about. In fact, I got offered this new gig by some start up in Beijing. I’d have to move out to China if I accept. It’s not through a hole, but I'll get there, Daddy. Just you wait.