It all started when me and my house mates were cleaning the basement. It was a normal thing to do and I thought nothing of it. As I reached the back basement wall I noticed the smell. It wasn’t bad but it smelled damp and woodsy, like the forest after a fresh rain. I searched for the source and there it was, a small yellow mushroom, peaking up from the gap between the broken concrete floor and the wall. It was so small and I wondered how it had even appeared there. Was there some fungus under the floor or had someone accidentally bought in a spore? Whatever the reason I carefully plucked the mushroom from its home and tossed it in to the trash bag. I thought that was it…I was wrong.

The next day I was in the basement and noticed that deep woodsy damp smell was back. I looked and there it was again, another mushroom. This time though…there was two. I chuckled and knelt down “Persistent little fuckers aren’t you?” I asked gently plucking them from their home. Knowing now that there was some type of spore underneath I pulled at a loose jagged piece of concrete. I winced in pain as the jagged concrete scratched my palm making a small gash. I wiped away the blood and carried the previously plucked mushrooms to the trash. This little routine of finding mushrooms plucking them and throwing them away continued for a couple more days but then it got worse.

The smell started off gentle almost calming but then a more unpleasant aroma started. It started off small, mixing with the damp woodsy smell and soon it became overpowering. It smelled like mold, like rot. It was horrible. I mean we tried everything to stop or mask the smell. But, it didn’t help and as the smell got worse the spores began to spread all over the basement. We sprayed watered down bleach, ammonia and even heavy cleaning products, we scrubbed it from head to toe NOTHING WORKED!!! Finally we all sat down and decided that it was time to call the school and explain the situation.

The school called the mold removal service who came in and told us we needed to vacate the premise so that they could check the rest of the house. Luckily for us it was the beginning of winter break so most of us were going to be leaving anyway. A few days after vacation started my friend called a remote emergency house meeting. We all hopped on the call expecting it to be a quick thing and luckily it was.

My friend informed us that luckily the spores had been taken care of. Apparently it was a really hard job since it only took one spore for them to multiply. Along with that they seemed to be all over the basement!! The mushrooms had started in one corner and just spread. They had to do some pretty heavy duty shit to make sure the mushrooms didn’t come back. It involved cutting out the main spore which all the others fed off of. Doing so prevented them from spreading. Due to this our entire basement had to be remodeled and new foundation needed to be put in. Finally my friend informed us that from now on we should be careful when walking in the basement. I mean, we didn’t want to cause another mushroom infestation.

That night I began noticing the tingling in my hand, specifically the hand that I’d gashed getting those spores. The cut didn’t look weird but it hurt like hell!! Over the next two days the pain got worse! It was a throbbing burning insistent pain, nothing I did made it go away!! I washed it with soap and water, tried to wrap it in ice hell I even took to putting on itching cream and wrapping it in heavy gauze. As the days went on the pain dwindled away until it was just a dull ache. I unwrapped the gauze and froze, I felt bile rise in my throat as I held back the urge to scream. There was a mushroom sprouting through my skin, right from wear I’d cut my hand. It was small and yellow just like the others, the stem sprouted from my skin through the open cut. I tugged on it lightly horrified at what I was seeing. I gritted my teeth and wrenched the mushroom out of my hand and shrieked in pain. I looked at this bloody mushroom in my other hand and then I vomited. Afterward I calmly threw away the mushroom and drove to the pharmacy where I grabbed some anti-fungal cream.

When I got home I applied the fungal cream on the open wound before wrapping it in heavy gauze. I sat there in a daze thinking about what had just happened. I mean, there had been a FUCKING MUSHROOM GROWING OUT OF MY SKIN!!! What the ever living fuck?!?! The next day I unwrapped the gauze and was horrified to see that the anti-fungal cream hadn’t helped one bit. There were more of them, all sprouting from that damn open cut. Then I remembered what my friend said about it being an infestation, how you had to cut off the main spore for the infestation to truly stop. I froze and slowly turned to my kitchen and with shaking hands I reached for the meat clever. I mean what other choice do I have?! I have to cut off the source. I promise I’ll update when I’m done, if I don’t well…you know what happened.