I work at The Drowsy Spectre, a café positioned in a place sure to never get any business. No human business, that is. That spider-lady came back on Monday with the same proposal, which I denied. She left on her own this time. A giant seems to have gotten into my head. In short, a lot of weird stuff happens. If you want to get caught up, or start at the beginning, then go ahead and check this out.

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Okay, so a lot has happened to me since my last update. God, I'm still shaking. For those that have been following, you probably think that I messed up and gave Tall Ben some meat, or that I broke a rule at the café. You're wrong, though. I followed all the rules, for the most part, and still nearly ended up with a fate worse than death. A fate very similar to Laura's (that was the lady that somehow got turned into a giant day gecko (thanks u/giantlizardsinc, who is aptly named to give such information, for identifying her).

Oh yeah, you probably want an update on her. That's where today's story starts anyway. I got a text from Em on Tuesday. She wanted to let me know how Laura was doing since it was my idea to let her try some coffee. She woke up, which I thought was a good thing, but there was no sign of humanity in her. No more talking, no walking on her hind legs. Just a lizard (don't get me wrong, I love reptiles), but Laura was still sleeping somewhere inside. Or, and I hope this isn't true, she is gone. If that is the case, then Em has a lot to answer for. I can't really see to that since I am just a regular person among the supernatural. All I have is my running mouth to get me out of trouble, that and a lengthening binder of rules that I've started to keep for myself seeing as I took the apartment offer.

Richard really wanted me to move, so he paid for me ending my contract early. New place isn't bad and, just as promised, it is super close to The Drowsy Spectre. It would have been nice to know beforehand that the denizens that visit the café also frequent the apartments (as well as most nearby conveniences). Hence the list of rules I've been keeping, which is a major work in progress. Only way to know what the rules are is to watch my neighbors. I'm all moved in now (got that done on Wednesday). If I am honest, what happened with Em greatly inspired my decision. Richard swore that he could protect me at these apartments and that might have been an exaggeration but I needed it.

Anyway, Em invited me over to her place to see Laura myself. Maybe seeing me would trigger something, since I am the last person she saw before she basically died. I have been wanting to get closer to my coworkers, so this seemed like the perfect opportunity. Plus, as you may have caught onto by now, I am quite lonely. No one comes by my place that isn't looking to hurt me, or make a disgusting trade (looking at you, Tall Ben). Em seemed sweet, so we agreed to meet before her shift on Tuesday.

Since she lived near the new apartment, I got a chance to see the nearby area. As you already know, I ended up accepting, so you also know that I liked what I saw. It was quiet, despite the supernatural hazard. Surrounded by forest, too, which made it both private and... threatening. I was more intrigued by the happenings around The Drowsy Spectre than afraid, so this did not deter me. It probably should have.

One main road went through the tiny, tiny little town (if it could be called that). Elida, it was called. Had a grocery store that was open all hours, a little gas station, some houses and the apartment building. Oh, there was a poor excuse for an emergency room too. Please, do not let anyone take me there. I'd prefer Rose Hill if I ever get injured, or just let me die along the way.

The main road went deep into the woods forever. At least, it felt like forever. Eventually a small dirt path veered off to the left, I could see Em's house from there. She described it as... cute. I guess I could see that, even knowing what I do now. It was made of logs and stone, with vines growing all over and a tree making itself at home up the side of her home. I walked up and knocked on the door, but she did not answer. I recalled a rule at the café, one that I have not had to use just yet. Five times, I knocked, and she finally came to the door.

"I was just texting you about that!" She laughed. "Can't be too safe." Em tapped my shoulder and put her phone away. "I'm so glad you're here because the whole Laura thing is freaking me out. I'm not kidding, I feel so bad."

"I was the one that offered her coffee."

"I should have known it would hurt her."

When I stepped into her home, I understood what she meant by that. Lots of aquariums (terrariums?) were stacked without reason, at least to my untrained eye. Heat lamps, UVB bulbs, humidifiers, and who knows what else kept all sorts of critters comfortable in their little environments.

Em tapped my shoulder again. It was more of a shove. "Oh, I hope you aren't scared of lizards or bugs or anything."

"No, not at all." Maybe snakes sometimes, but I wasn't going to say that. "Where is Laura?"

"Oh, yeah." Em led the way to her back porch, which was more of a large greenhouse. A wide cage with a door for a window housed a giant day gecko, one that was chilling on her substrate. "She is normal, see? Hasn't spoken, doesn't act weird. She is a regular gecko."

"You don't think she's..." I didn't want to say it.

It seemed Em didn't mind. "Dead? I don't know, honestly. Maybe? I think her spirit is probably dormant somewhere inside, the instinctual autopilot of a giant day gecko has taken over."

"So what do we do?"

"Things like this come at a cost. There might be a deal we can make with someone."

I did not like the sound of that. "With who?"

"You sound like you want to help people, Axel. Like a good person. That's the thing about humans, some are incredibly violent and some... some are good. Like you said, we are both at fault for what happened to her. You, mostly, because you fed her coffee."

That was a change in attitude. "What sort of deal? What would we have to give up?"

"That's why I like you, Axel. You didn't refuse, you considered paying a price of some kind without even knowing Laura. So... I'm sorry."

Those were never good words to hear in someone else's home, especially one belonging to a supernatural being! "Em, what is this about? What are you sorry for?"

"Is it true, son? Would you make a deal to save someone's life?"

I turned around in response to a man's voice and came face to face with a stranger. He stood in the doorway of the greenhouse, in the direction I'd need to go to leave. It was a trap, I was invited to Em's house as a setup for whatever this was. His eyes were not yellow, though, and I thought that was a good sign. "Who are you?"

"You've been working with my daughter. Oh, and you've met a business partner I hear." He gestured at Laura. "Shame that you poisoned her. Tends to be a side effect humans always cause. Damn, are you people good at killing things."

They were related, he and Em? They shared the same blonde hair and hazel eyes. Small nose, wide smile. That smile was much more devious on the man's face. "What do you want?"

"Oh, Axel, this is all about what you want. We pixies act as a middle man, you might say. Guide you to what you want, like any business. Some of us stick to the old ways, entirely too literal on the 'guidance' part. I'm here to get you what you want, for a price. And what could a lonely, poor, broken thing like you want? Money, love?" I had nothing to say thus far. "Answers?"

"If I wanted answers, I could take a far less risky deal with someone else."

That seemed to intrigue him. So Tall Ben hadn't made offers with the others? "Maybe. What about poor Laura? It is your fault, you know that. You oughta fix it."

"Wait, I thought Em took a giant potion. How'd you get so big?"

That threw him off guard. "Magic, of course. I don't need a stupid potion because I've got all my magic. Em, here, she was a changeling. Didn't grow up with her own, which is why she's having this identity crisis." He rolled his eyes. "Giant potion. Ha."

"But she does have magic." I glanced at her, from her spot behind me. "I saw her help Laura when she almost died."

"Well, yeah. She is still a pixie, just a confused one." I noticed that Em was blocking the back door ever so casually. I was trapped.

"It seems I can get answers without making a deal."

He grimaced. "Smart. Since you're smart, you know you are in a tough spot. It'd be easier to make a deal and save yourself some trouble."

"I thought we were friends, Em." I really did think we were.

She hesitated and glanced at her father. "Sure we are, Axel. This is a good thing, you can get anything you want from my father!"

Wait, Laura said that she got turned into a lizard by shaking a man's hand. A deal to find out if a certain lover was pinning for her. Suddenly I was forced to view the animals in Em's house in a different light, but I kept my cool. "This is a big thing to throw on someone and you can't blame me for being a bit nervous. Guard the door, if you need to, but I have to pee." They didn't say anything. "Look, I'm about to piss myself right here."

Em's father grinded his teeth for a moment, but stepped aside. "Fine, but Em will be watching your car. I don't think you are stupid enough to run out into the woods. Take the time to think about what you might want."

Okay, that was good. I was guided by Em's father to the bathroom and was thankful he let me close the door. There wasn't a window or anything, so I couldn't really sneak out. Em had her toothbrush in a plastic cup, which worked out perfectly to my plan. You see, I have been doing some research about different folklore and mythological creatures. So, when I say I had a plan that required me to pee in that cup, please trust me. I had to pee quite a lot, though (I wasn't lying) and turned to the toilet when it was full. The plan was risky and had a high chance of only offending and pissing off the pixie that stood outside. There were a lot of cages in Em's house, ones that might have iron on them in some way. Some that might not.

"They're gonna keep you as a pet, mate!" Someone behind me said. I turned to see a small snake on the corner of the floor, sticking out of a little hole. "Get the hell out of here while you have the chance!"

I leaned down. "Come with me. I've got a plan."

"Nah, whenever one of us leaves this place we always get brought back. Always don't have our human part left, then Em keeps us as pets. She hasn't noticed I escaped and I am not risking leaving. They know, somehow!"

"Trust me. I have a place that is safe." I wasn't sure about that. "Please, trust me."

The black snake flicked her tongue. "Can you turn me back?" I shrugged. "Kid, you got a cup full of pee and the warden is outside your door. Forgive me if I am not entirely confident."

"Well, if it goes wrong, you can slip out of my pocket."

She considered this for a moment. "Fine, but I've no idea what you plan to do."

I scooped her up and put her in my left pocket. She fit snuggly next to my phone, which had no signal (I checked). Then, knowing that there was a large chance my plan would fail, I swung open the door and locked eyes with Em's father. He stared at me for a moment, entirely confused as to why I had a cup of urine in my hand. Neither he, nor Em, knew that I had a condition. How would they? Hemochromatosis. Too much iron absorbed by the body. I take pills for it, which causes all that extra iron mix with my urine. At least, I think it goes into my urine. Lots of ways this could go wrong, but pouring a cup of pee on someone would at least keep them busy for a second.

So that's what I did. Soaked the shithead in almost an entire cup of pee. His face sizzled, so I guess there was iron in my pee. Enough, at least, to make him cry out in pain (or maybe surprise) and fall to the floor. He called me all sorts of names as I dashed through the house, but I hesitated at the front door. I couldn't save all of them, assuming they were all people at one time. But I could go out the back door, I could save Laura (or at least what was left of her).

I couldn't carry her cage, so I placed her in my jacket. I don't think giant day geckos are supposed to get that big, because she barely fit and when she struggled she put up a fight. I was saving her, though, so I ignored her frantic attempts at escape as I hurried around the house, cup of remaining pee still in hand and ready to be weaponized.

As promised, Em was waiting by the car. She saw the cup in my hand and my arm around my jacket. Maybe Laura's tale stuck out of the bottom of my jacket too, I don't know.

"What is that?" She pointed at the cup.

I didn't stop running at her.

She must have caught on. "Wait, wait! I don't have the same weaknesses as the others! Don't-"

No time. I ran past her, let her have the rest of the cup, and leapt into the car. Not really sorry about that one, even if it had zero effect aside from completely disturbing her. Drove right out of there and was not followed (hard to give chase when you are covered in piss).

So that is pretty much it. I got back to my place and got a box for Laura and the snake. Unfortunately, the snake didn't have much to say since we left. I was starting to worry that the person within was lost, but once I moved into my new place she began talking again. Apparently that happens when they leave the influence of Rykar's curse. Not so lonely anymore, but I do wish that Laura would talk. I am also very nervous to go back to work alongside Em. Did anyone else at the shop know about any of this? That she was going to trap me?

Basically, don't trust pixies. I read that they like to lead travelers off the path, to get them lost and generally cause trouble. I guess making deceitful deals is sort of the same thing, in a way. If it weren't for my iron issues, I might not have had enough iron in my pee to make any impact. In short; sometimes disabilities and disorders can come in handy, so consider them strengths and not weaknesses. Might get you out of a bad situation with an evil pixie or something.

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P.S. Had this as a draft. Posting on my break. I am currently working with Em, and she hasn't said anything. I am not sure what to say. She keeps glancing at me, then quickly looking away. Maybe I should talk to Barrow? Or, better yet, John. I haven't spoken much to him at all but something says the humans among us should stick together. Stay safe out there!