…And I dunno if he’s a friend or a foe.

My name is [----Redacted----], but you can call me D, and I had a spinal laminectomy surgery back in 2019. The surgery was a success, but there was already a severe amount of damage done to my spinal cord. Enough damage that the stenosis left me paraplegic – I can’t walk or put any pressure through my legs. I have very little movement or sensation in my lower body, so every minute of every day is spent in a wheelchair or in a hospital bed. I took my mobility for granted, often joking that my main goal in life was to never work again. I’ve achieved my goal, but I’d give anything to take it back. It’s the single biggest regret, not taking better care of myself, living a mostly sedentary life. I completely blame myself for my condition, and I feel like a burden no matter what everyone tells me. Because I don’t have any family who’s able to care for me, I’m somewhat forced to stay in a nursing home until a better arrangement can be made. The food here is strictly for nutritional purposes. It's definitely not gourmet. The taste is super bland, and everything comes out of a bag or from a can. I mean, most of the time it’s edible, but it's often unidentifiable on the worst days. Luckily, on the rare occasions that I have some spendable income, we are allowed to order take-out, which is nice.

I have a room to myself, which I’m very grateful for. Some of the more elderly folks here have to share a room – their memories are failing, so they hardly even realize they have a roommate. I’ve made friends with some of the staff, and I’m one of the longest tenured residents here. I’ve been here longer than the majority of the staff. There’s a horribly high turn-over rate. The level of care here leaves something to be desired, but every time DHEC visits, they’ve done just enough to pass inspection, its frustrating for sure. Being understaffed and underappreciated causes a lot of call-outs, leading to confusion when it comes to scheduling. The employees who do show up are often responsible for more residents than they’re legally supposed to have. Every day, I take an ungodly amount of medications, with my med-pass starting at 9 am and going on periodically until 9-10pm. There’s too many medicines to name here, but to sum it up, I take a pill to help me sleep, one for depression/anxiety, a blood thinner, and an ‘as needed’ narcotic pain tablet, among many, many other, less significant meds.

As time goes by, I play video games on the big screen TV that my best buddy (and only real friend) set up for me, watch my streaming services and horror movies on my laptop, or watch sports on the facility provided 24 inch TV that’s mounted on the wall. It’s not too bad, but I get insanely bored a lot of the time. I constantly feel isolated and lonely. I have a healthy fear of becoming institutionalized due to being monitored around the clock. I feel like it could be happening without me really realizing it. I’m in my late 30s, but I feel like a mix between being a baby or an elderly invalid. However, I do occasionally get ‘care packages’ from friends and family who aren’t close enough to visit. They send me snacks, cash-app money, Doordash, or Ubereats meals. The best is when they send me gummie edibles or disposable THC pens. Ya see, I suffer from chronic insomnia, and the weed really helps me to relax and hopefully fall asleep. So, sorry for the incredibly long introduction, but I think it’s important to get a feel for what my day-to-day life is like. As if that first part wasn’t scary enough, here's why I’m writing all this today.

Being like any other bored elder-millennial, I get into the trends only kinda, way later than everyone else. I was watching YouTube videos, TikToks, and scouring Reddit when I wandered across a video and a subsequent post about the Benedryl challenge. In absolutely no way am I recommending that anyone attempt this, had I thought it through a little more, I wouldn’t have even considered trying. Essentially, this challenge is to take enough anti-histamine pills until you black out and start feeling a sort of high. But for me, it was supposed to be like a way to hallucinate, or kinda trip, y’know. It's just a lot cheaper and easier than LSD, or ‘shrooms. I kept researching and saw some rather terrifying reports of people hearing voices, seeing shadow people, or becoming overwhelmingly paranoid. Then the absolute worst claim of all was sightings of an enormously tall, shadowy figure wearing what could only be described as a hat and long coat, with red, or yellow piercing eyes. No other discernable features or characteristics, just an all black, wispy, floating shadow. These sightings were almost always accompanied by a tremendous feeling of deep dread. Some people claimed that the Hat Man approached them and told them things. Ranging from clairvoyant and helpful to inspirational, all the way to the other extremes of threatening, hateful, and haunting. Maybe even reminding you of a terrible event from your life.

There were mixed reports of seeing the Hat Man even after the trip was over, and they were lucid again. People claimed to have recurring dreams of new encounters with the Hat Man. Ya know how sometimes we watch disturbing things out of sheer curiosity, like wanting to look away, but rubbernecking at the car wreck as you drive by – if that makes sense. That’s how I felt about seeing the Hat Man. It seemed really fascinating but totally horrifying at the same time. So, I started planning a way to get my hands as many pills as I could. Again, I absolutely do not suggest doing this, I want to be very clear. So, I can ask for and receive over-the-counter medicines pretty much whenever I need them. Ya see, every day, or every other day I’d ask for a Benedryl, and because I have very sensitive skin, I get it with no questions asked. I’d pretend to take the pill and slip it into a baggie I kept in a book bag next to my bed. After I saved up around 12 pills, I felt like that was enough for a try. I had seen where some people were taking like 20-30, sometimes even more at one time. I was not dedicated enough to try that many at once. I just figured if they didn’t work, I’d just save up more and try again. So the plan was, on that coming Friday night, I’d have the on duty nurse put a Benedryl into my night meds to make a grand total of 13 at one time. I’d take my regularly scheduled medications and then pop the extra Benedryl once the nurse closed my door.

I passed that day by flirting with a hot CNA who works here. She is big time into ghosts, demons, and other paranormal stuff. She likes to tease me by telling me how an old lady passed away in my room and how, during the night shift, they see and hear unexplainable things in the hallways. I was becoming increasingly nervous waiting for my night time med-pass. I took a THC gummie and a few puffs from my weed pen to try to calm myself. The nurse finally came and dropped off my meds. It was go time. I took everything at once with an entire cup of water. I tilted the bed into a more comfortable position and continued watching old reruns of the ‘X-Files’ until the medications took effect. It wouldn’t be too long, maybe 20 or 30 minutes before I started to feel everything kicking in at once. As the tidal wave of chemicals hit my brain, I felt the darkness start to envelope me, slowly pulling me under. I could still hear the sounds from the TV buried in the background, but my ears were flooded with the roaring noise of my blood rushing through my body and my steadily calm heartbeat. I felt like I was awake, but I knew that couldn’t be true, I was STANDING in a world of blackness. It was difficult to wrap my head around what was going on. I was free to walk around and explore this vast unknown darkness that was all around me.

I walked around exploring a bit, I saw some shadowy figures huddled together whispering to each other. They paid me no mind as I walked by. I could hear disembodied screams and footsteps all around me. I swear I could hear the voice of the hot CNA I mentioned earlier. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him stalking me, the Hat Man. He was darker than everything else. Like I was looking into pure darkness, then seeing this entity, his silhouette was a darker shade, if that makes any sense. The Hat Man was ominously darker than anything else in this place. Here’s the other strange thing, I didn’t have to ask if he was the Hat Man. It was like, I just knew, y’know? He approached me slowly, and I could feel his eyes boring holes right through me. I don’t think I’ve ever been more terrified than I was right then, but I felt frozen, completely unable to move or run away. He then ‘spoke’ to me, but it wasn’t like audible words, it was more like his voice being echoed into my head, like how you think to yourself, only these weren’t my thoughts, and definitely not in my voice. The Hat Man’s voice ranged from deep and soothing like James Earl Jones to a gravelly and demonic rumble. He would first speak to me using the soothing voice.

“I know why you’re here”

“That’s good, because I don’t” – I thought back.

“Its true what the hot CNA told you. People have died here.They do stare at you while you sleep. But not you, no, you won’t die here, you have other things to do.”

“Uh…" well, uh, what’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, starting to feel threatened.

“I think you know what I mean. One day you’ll get to leave here.”

Happily surprised, I asked, “Really, how long until I get to leave?”

“It doesn’t work that way, I tell you, what I want you to know.”

Getting slightly annoyed, I said, “That’s some bullshit.” This is when I got the first taste of the haunting demonic voice.

“No need for expletives, you’re invading my home, remember?”

An embarrassed, “Sorry,” was all I thought out.

His voice had returned to the soothing one, only it felt like a put on to try to calm me down.

“I can’t tell you everything up front. That’ll ruin the fun.”

“OK, so now what?” Was my reply.

He changed the subject abruptly and began telling me about upcoming events – rather natural, or man caused - horrifying occurrences, unspeakable things, that were to take place over the next few months, years even I’m choosing not to go into details here, I do believe in speaking things into existence, and I don’t want any of that being held on my conscience. Just know, it's some awful shit, but basically, like things that already happen every day, so it’d be difficult to pinpoint the accuracy of the predictions. His reddish eyes then sharply narrowed, and I felt like if he had a mouth, he’d be smiling. But it felt really evil, I dunno how to describe it, but it wasn’t natural, I mean shit, none of this was natural, but you get what I’m saying, right? His last message is the one that really frightened me more than anything else.

“Since you decided to visit my world, I may, on occasion, visit you in your world.”

The next thing I remember was waking up. I groggily grabbed my phone, although I didn’t really need to. It was daylight outside, and I had slept through breakfast. I calculated it up, I was out for like 10 hours straight. But I did not feel rested at all. My mind was hazy, still struggling to comprehend what I had just experienced. Five nights later, the Hat Man would visit me for the first time on this plane of existence. I was watching TV and listening to some music on my phone. My earbuds flooding my ears with the sounds of ‘Voodoo Child (Slight Return)’. It was pretty late, around the time when I’d start to drift off to sleep. Suddenly, his demonic voice cut through the music in my head…

“I visited Hendrix, once. Ironically, the night before he passed. I tried to warn him of his impending death, but he ignored me. He accused me of not being real. He said I was ‘Killing his buzz, man.’ “

He imitated Hendrix’s voice with the last part to a scarily accurate impersonation.

I ignored it the best I could.

“I could tell you how you die.” He continued.

This piqued my interest a bit, “Is that so?” I responded.

“Yeah.” There was a long, uncomfortable pause, “Buuut, I’m not gonna.” He teased me.

“Why are you here, then?” I asked.

“Do you not remember, I told you I’d visit you in your realm some day, and I can do whatever I want.”

I didn’t respond, just focused on trying to fall asleep, but it seemed as if he was still here, just staring at me. It felt like hours, I laid there awake. Until, when I woke up in the morning, not even remembering falling asleep. I wanted to get more accounts of this entity and hopefully figure out how to make him stop. I read a post comparing the shadow realm to liminal spaces like that of the backrooms. It's like it exists everywhere and nowhere at the same time. I stumbled upon a blog called, ‘The Hat Man Project’, which detailed several encounters with this entity. The overwhelming majority being negative and off-putting. These stories dated from the mid 2000s up to and including stories from this year. After thoroughly scaring the shit out of myself, I started doing my best to ignore those feelings and not think about that stuff anymore.

My reprieve from the Hat Man would only last a few nights, maybe a week later, my night meds were just starting to lull me into a sleepy state, I was relaxing, watching a basketball game on the TV.

“The Lakers are going to lose, y’know?”

I was now wide awake, a chill running up my spine, only I couldn’t see him, just hear him.

“Not now, dude, I’m sleepy”. Was all I remember muttering.

For the record, the Lakers did, in fact, lose the game. This was very quickly becoming a nuisance that I had absolutely no control over. I drifted off into an inky black darkness, a whirlwind of shadows. Strange voices then surrounded me. The voices were hard to make out, but it was like taunting me, “He’s gonna get you, you’re gonna die there.” Being repeated over and over in different tones, maybe even different languages. Next, I felt a countless amount of hands touching me, scratching, pinching me, shaking me, groping me. I swear one of those bastards even poked me in the eyes – three stooges style – You get me, right? I felt my heart racing like it might beat right out of my chest. I woke up in a cold sweat, still heaving for air. Without a doubt, it was the most frightening experience of my life. It was still mostly dark outside, I checked my phone, it was 6:03 in the morning, and the sky was just starting to brighten.

Were you aware, that there’s been as many as 400,000 reports of seeing the Hat Man since the internet has been recording written experiences, but none that I read seemed as intense, or petrifying as the one I just had. It took a few days for me to fully get over what happened that night. I still can’t really think about it without getting a terrible case of goosebumps. It didn’t really help that, I always feel very isolated here, especially at night. My room at the facility is pretty close to the same layout of a decently priced hotel room. There’s a counter with a shelf, a drawer, and a cabinet. There’s a microwave on the counter and a mini fridge underneath. I have a full bathroom with a drain on the floor, making it basically a showering area with a shower head and emergency call button on the wall. There’s a small closet, a dresser built into the wall, a nightstand, and a couple of chairs for visitors. The bathroom area had an light that was always on, and on several occasions, the bathroom door was left open at night, for a little extra light to help the staff to see when they come in to empty my catheter, or take vitals without having to turn on the bright overhead lights.

So one night, that cascade of light coming from the bathroom just felt off. There was a slight electric feeling in the air, and an unusually cold breeze stirred around. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a black silhouette pass by that wedge of light leaking from the bathroom. Before I could turn my head to get a better look, the shadow was gone. You guys know how you can feel a presence even if you can’t see it. That’s exactly how this was. The feeling never really left, I just became used to it, I guess. When I drifted off to sleep, I sunk directly into a dream. I was walking through a suburban housing community, and every house was very similar in size and shape. Equally distanced street lights peppered the sidewalks. It felt like an idyllic place to live, probably upper-middle class, if I had to guess. The lawns were all neatly kept, bushes, and trees appeared to be immaculately pruned. The moon looked enormous in the clear night sky, not a cloud to be seen. Suddenly, every front door on every house opened at once, and slowly, but steadily, the home's occupants shambled out into the quiet night.

They walked out to the edge of the sidewalk and gazed up to the moon. In unison, they began to scream an ungodly howl – unlike anything I’d ever heard before, not animalistic, just haunting. At once, every person started to gesticulate. It somewhat resembled the jerky and erratic movements of that little girl in ‘The Ring’ movie. This was beyond unnerving, how just minutes earlier, this place was so peaceful and unassuming. I tried to hide, as to, not draw their attention, I ducked behind a tree, and inadvertently snapped a limb, causing the entire community to look in my direction. Their heads all tilted to the side, and their jaws started to come unhinged from their cheeks. They began to shuffle towards me, repeating, “Get the interloper.” Over and over again. I hadn’t even noticed that the moon was no longer in the sky. Now, it was nearly pitch blackness engulfing me. Just then, a wispy mist cut between the approaching crowd and myself, slowly evolving into a wall of this kinda cloudy darkness. Out of the cloud stepped the Hat Man, and as soon as the people laid eyes on him, they stopped dead in their tracks.

The Hat Man raised his arms in a threatening gesture, and the crowd quickly dissipated back to their houses. I didn’t know whether to feel relieved or even more panicked. He didn’t turn to me. It was like shifted himself, front to back to face me. His eyes, like lasers burning directly into my soul, he sort of floated towards me. Are you guys familiar with the idea of the ‘uncanny valley’, it’s like seeing something that’s almost human, but only not quite. That’s the eerie feeling I got looking into the Hat Man’s eyes. I was frozen in place again, unable to move, no matter how much I tried. He kept moving towards me, and just before he could touch me, he vanished, and I abruptly woke up. I was back in my bed at the nursing home, shaking uncontrollably. A cold sweat soaked my pillow. I glanced at my phone. It had only been a little more than an hour since I had fallen asleep. It would be the last wink of sleep I’d get that night. I pulled up my laptop and continued watching old episodes of the ‘X-Files’ until morning. It’s like a comfort show to me, oddly enough. The first rays of the morning sun greeted me like an old friend, and I felt safe again.

The last and most recent experience came just a few nights ago. I was just doing my thing, watching TV, and there he was, in the corner just behind me. I only noticed when I saw his reflection on the TV screen. As soon as I was aware of his presence, I felt my chest tighten, and a nervous feeling came over me. The Hat Man started to speak to me.

“Hello friend.”

“Friends don’t stalk each other, and scare the shit outta them” – I thought.

“Clearly you’ve never seen ‘Scare Tactics’, that’s literally the premise of the show.” – His voice leaned towards the evil, demonic one.

He was right, “Fair enough” – I admitted.

“But why me, don’t you have other people to terrify?” I asked.

He made a kind of laughing sound, “I do. It’s just your turn.” – The evil voice continued.

“What can I do to make you leave me alone?” – I thought.

Again, he made the laughing sound, “You came uninvited into my realm, and that gives me permission to attach to you. You can’t get away from me. And like I’ve already told you, I’ll visit you whenever I see fit. The only thing you can do is get used to it.”

The weight on my chest became heavier, tightening around my heart. I did my best to ignore it again, and after, who knows how long I fell asleep. And that’s it, for now.

I may post further updates on future encounters, depending on how interesting and scary they are.