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fatmand00 t1_j5hy5yn wrote

Reply to comment by cbbuntz in Girl asks police to run DNA test on Christmas cookie for evidence of Santa Claus by koavf

Nobody said she understands how they work. She's smart as hell to come up with this plan, but it still relies on matching the "DNA sample" she collected against . . . what exactly?

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midnightdiabetic t1_j5i0bfw wrote

Maybe Santa Claus is in the system ok??? Or he did 23andme LOL

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Nazamroth t1_j5iub1e wrote

If he is not in the system after those millions of break-ins, what is the police even there for?

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CEU17 t1_j5iw79g wrote

Or was convicted of a felony

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hypermelonpuff t1_j5j3u3h wrote

i love how the tone of this reads like an unironic r/kidsarefuckingstupid moment. i just can't help but imagine seeing this info get delivered onto this poor little girl left in tears, i shouldn't be laughing.

this story treats it like it's a cute little aw kids moment but in reality this poor girl is questioning everything 😭 like, this logically has to be her last step. she would be thinking "ok, this would prove it!" but if she knows it would, she would may have already considered "but how can i be the only one to have tried this? if there's such debate about him being real...wouldnt they have already tried..?"

this isn't someone writing with hope of proof. this poor girl is writing for closure. she's about to bust into dad's room going "WHAT ELSE DAD, HUH? THE TOOTH FAIRY? JESUS? MICHAEL JACKSON? ARE YOU EVEN MY REAL DAD!?!"

"of course i am! honey it's just sant-"

"I GOT THE RESULTS BACK DAD. I SENT IN MINE TO COMPARE TO SEE IF IT WAS YOU OR SANTA, BUT YOUR DNA DIDNT MATCH MINE DAD!"

she wont get gifts from santa anymore, but she will get two christmas' from now on! 😭

edit 21 hours later : the police accepted the request for the DNA test. grab the popcorn. for the film rights, i want 10% of the film's profit on top of 50k upfront. the world needs this story, streaming services. have your people call my people.

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fatmand00 t1_j5jezux wrote

This comment was an unexpected rollercoaster ride.

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InfanticideAquifer t1_j5ivjr8 wrote

Presumably against her parents? A match would be damning evidence of a conspiracy.

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Duke-Guinea-Pig t1_j5jqpmh wrote

well, I doubt this is a proper DNA sample, but bad sample could give the sex of the DNA. A good one could give some of the heritage.

She also collected DNA from a carrot. I doubt the police could identify the DNA as belonging to a reindeer, but someone else could.

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