Freewill caused the downfall of humanity

   With a purpose and strong will one can move mountains and surpass all obstacles in life. Without a solid reason or inner knowing man crumbles at the realization of his own existence and begins to understand the grime reality that no matter what he acquires in the material whether that be fame, love or money he’ll never be able to lift the weight of his own mortality. Life is a wonderful gift with a nasty price…..death. All good things must come to an end and unfortunately if you’re reading this it’s too late to decline you’ve already accepted and must now embrace the harsh truth of knowing it’s all an illusion. We are like king midas except our golden touch was replaced with the curse of mortality and everything outside ourselves will eventually turn to dust and Unfortunately that’s the reality of life. 


The answer you’re looking for is simply life is irrational and the universe, god or whatever runs this place has no solid plan, has no reason, goal or task we just simply exist until we don’t and then it’s on to the next then the next then the next. Who knows how long we’ve been in this cycle. There is no justice your good deeds will go unrewarded and your bad deeds over looked. Shit just happens and that’s life. Proof? Look at jesus he was the model human being right and what was his fate oh yeah killed on the cross. thats proof being a team player only gets you killed. 



  Look at all the ppl who’ve ever been at the top and research how they got there. No where in history are the majority of leaders actually good ppl and most got to those ranks from lying, stealing or hell they just got lucky to be born in a family of that status. We all have that saint in our lives who’s done nothing but good in their life ofc they made mistakes but their good karma alone should’ve put them in a better predicament and we all know that old hag who’s been raising Cain since her first breath bringing nothing but more hell to an already hellish earth and yet she has her every want  handed to her on a silver plater by this god forsaken universe. 



 Bffr and get out of your moral compass. it means nothing and the world shows you that daily so if you’re gonna do something do it and have no regrets. Most new age spiritual groups love to say our ego aka our wants and desires blinds us from seeing reality and so once we stop wanting for anything thats when we'll receive everything It's contradicting bs but solitude allows you to see 3 ways to live life. One Believe there's something outside of you calling the shots and if you don't follow their rules you'll be punished and if you do you'll be blessed. Two you could live as a selfish fuck and go after everything you want and stop at nothing bc you're the creator of your own universe. It’s your movie and we’re all living in it so it doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full all that matters is your perception and since you weren’t given a rule book to life you make your own rules and morals. This is a life I wish I could live but unfortunately I’m not talented and my hopes for thing’s getting better in life have died. the last way you could live is the mentally unstable route like moi and realize theres no point of starting anything of value bc its never gonna last so why put yourself through pain. To be or not be? I say most ppl would have to agree with my stance on not being bc like heart break once you feel the pain of betrayal no amount of love that person gave can ease the hurt they caused when they crossed you. Existence is a never ending video game where suffering will always be the main character which is why I choose to self destruct use anything to numb myself and currently My goal is to not be fazed by the bs life throws at me and to just keep swimming until my times up.  




 I'm tired of this emotional rollercoaster and if I don’t have a choice in the matter I want to at least be at peace. I can’t recommend my route either as im a hot mess as most of you can tell but what would remedy this would be will. unfortunately i wasn't blessed with the natural passion for life and the little hope I had is gone but if you have a talent or deep down you feel like you're meant to be doing something do it bc I wish I knew what I truly want. My dumbass still thinks there’s a little logic to the madness and when I have a little strength I spend my time trying to crack the code to this matrix so I can wake up from this terrible dream but I doubt that’s gonna happen for me anytime soon. But you yeah you. you’re here on earth I say if you have a dream do it make it worth dying for. pursue it with no regrets bc we’re all gonna die one day at least go out doing something you want. Yes jobs and life is a thing so ofc you can’t just drop everything and become a rockstar but that’s on you to figure out be happy you at least have some idea what you wanna do