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JannaNYC t1_jach7lw wrote

Reply to comment by mucuna_67 in (55F) and (45M) boyfriend spending less time now that I'm closer by [deleted]

If? {sigh}

A fifth of whiskey every day, those were your words. That's equivakent to about 16 shots. Every day.

He can't have sex, wants to spend less and less time with you, but uses pretty words occasionally to keep you on the hook. Take as old as time.

Alcoholics get more and more selfish with their time. It never ends well. Never. You are not married, you don't have seven kids with him, you don't own a house together, none of the myriad of reasons people may actually be stuck in a relationship. And you are not the one in a billion exception. You will not change him, and he will not change for you. What you're seeing now is his true colors.

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mucuna_67 t1_jacjkx8 wrote

I definitely have told myself what you said... I'm not going to be able to change him, no one else could and I certainly can't. And I know he won't do it for me. He does sometimes take three or four days off from drinking. He thinks that is enough to give his liver a break and he thinks the fact that he can take a few days off means he is not an alcoholic. The days he takes off are great days. Most days I have spent with him he doesn't even remember large parts of our conversations. I am supposed to meet his parents in March. It's super important to him. I feel terrible to break it off before that. His friends and family have all been so happy that he has found someone. He is so sweet to me. But I'm very unhappy now. Lonely and feeling rejected. And feeling sorry for him.

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JannaNYC t1_jaesrc7 wrote

>I am supposed to meet his parents in March. It's super important to him. I feel terrible to break it off before that.

I don't know why you think it would be better to get his family involved and get their hopes up, and then break it off.

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