I (26f) am in thr beginning stages of dating a (28m)

Submitted by yoyo31233 t3_11dz8u1 in relationship_advice

So I am in just at the very beginning stages of dating a new guy. We have been on 2 dates and have 2 more planned but have not kissed yet. Usually I am a sleep with a guy on the first date if I like him kind of girl so I don't know how to navigate a guy who hasn't even sexualized me. After a month of texting he only just told me that he thinks I'm beautiful. I like him a lot but I an so worried if there will be sexual chemistry. Can anyone more used to going a slower pace for physical touch just give me some insight on how to go about it

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YoProfWhite t1_jabmdmr wrote

I was in a situation like this way back when. My old gf was ready to hop into bed before I was ready and we had to take it a bit slow (which frustrated her quite badly).

I would say that this guy is either hesitant to push into the physical aspects (which has nothing to do with you) or doesn't want to come off as overly sexual. I would say that engaging in smaller acts of touching can help make him more comfortable with being closer to you and will lead to more intimate acts.

It'll come with time. It isn't you doing anything wrong, he just probably doesn't want to fuck this up (ironically).

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YourRAResource t1_jabm8pv wrote

What was the context of the two dates? If you want to sleep with him, set it up.

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yoyo31233 OP t1_jabmfw3 wrote

We walked around a park for 3 hours on our first date and then went to a museum exhibit about lou Reed and got lunch on our second. I don't have time for a night time date until our 4th date but also I just don't know what his pace is. He's like very smart but kind of a skinny shy guy, usually I date like construction workers or personal trainers

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YourRAResource t1_jabmt0x wrote

No need to make assumptions. If there’s a moment, make a move. Profession is irrelevant. If he’s not at your pace, he’ll let you know.

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SnooSongs6848 t1_jabnsie wrote

Well first thing is don’t sleep with too many guys on the first date no matter if you like them. Guys don’t like girls with high body counts it makes them look like hoes and also they will think you might have an std and pass it on to them along with making you look easy and guys don’t want easy girls. Second, he must have respect and take things slow with you considering having a serious relationship rather than getting in your pants n leave. If you want physical touch then touch his hand or when you leave give him a kiss on the cheek

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yoyo31233 OP t1_jaci4az wrote

Lol I'm 26 a bit too late on the sexist don't sleep around lecture

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SnooSongs6848 t1_jadzplk wrote

It’s best to not increase more is what I’m saying. Have respect for your body don’t sleep around with many men if you like sex a lot have a fwb. The reason I’m saying not to sleep around is bc if you sleep around too many you can get an std not many people want to date someone with stds

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yoyo31233 OP t1_jaev5oh wrote

Still not the advice I'm looking for, this is not an asking sex Ed post, and having sex is not a disrespect to your body. I won't date a guy with such backwards thinking.

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Biauralbeats t1_jad42mb wrote

Girls don't want guys like that anyway. Most of us have figured out it is a bunch of sexist tripe trumpeted by low-sexually performing men.

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SnooSongs6848 t1_jadzgbd wrote

No I get it I hate men like that too however it’s one thing to be sexist and another to care about your health. Wouldn’t you be concerned if a guy slept with a bunch of women like idk 50+ wouldn’t you think he may have an std and you be concerned about your own well being?

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Biauralbeats t1_jadzteb wrote

No. I am 53. People are in the 100s by the point they die. It is all relative. I had a bunch of dudes when I was younger, but settled into a very long, monogamous marriage.

And people do take care of their bits with testing.

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SnooSongs6848 t1_jae1fxf wrote

I’m sorry but body count matters. At 26 you don’t sleep with 50+ people. Not only are you putting yourself at risk for STDs but you’ll be doing that to others along with you look easy and like a hoe sorry but that’s the hard truth. She’s 26 not 53. You can literally type on google “do people with high body counts have stds” and the first thing it shows is “someone with a high body count may be more likely to have STDs”. You should not encourage op to sleep w a bunch of other men you will boost her confidence and the result is she may catch an std and majority of men won’t want her also again having a high body count doesn’t look good for a woman that’s just facts a woman is supposed to cherish her body have respect for it

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Biauralbeats t1_jae2n9l wrote

False

All of it

you are sex shaming shame on YOU

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SnooSongs6848 t1_jae3ytd wrote

Shame on you encouraging people to get stds. I’m a woman myself I’m not saying I have the smallest body count so I’m not sex shaming you’re here encouraging people to get stds a lower there body value. You are a terrible person shame on you. Just bc you don’t care about your health doesn’t mean others don’t.

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Biauralbeats t1_jae4anv wrote

Oh ffs.

who the hell encouraged people to get stds

get off your soap box and stop your moralizing to WOMEN only

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