Don't do something "funny." Just ask her out on a date normally. It's not too late. Shoot your shot. You have nothing to lose. Good luck.

I think you should talk to her and tell her how you feel. Ask her why you're not in the bridal party. If you're close friends, you're not unreasonable to have feelings about it. Good luck.

Thanks. That's important context because how does he logically expect to purchase a home if he basically breaks even every month?

When you have the conversation, just be honest and direct. Tell him you're concerned that he's not considering the future at all, and ask him how he expects to be able to achieve future goals if he continues to spend all of his money. Have you two discussed a timeline for achieving these things?

You're right in that it's his money and you can't control how he uses it. But his decisions impact you from a relationship perspective. If he's happy to live as is forever, that's his choice. But you'd need to decide if you're good with that. Good luck.

What exactly is his financial situation? Does he have nothing in savings and is legitimately financially irresponsible, or is this a situation where he does put money into savings, it's a solid amount overall, but he also treats himself because he has the means to do so? Does he have any debt?

One situation has nothing to do with the other. You tell her you're frustrated that she's not working or even trying. She responds by saying there are things you don't do. Does that change the fact that she's not working?

I'm sure there are things you need to work on, and you should take whatever measures necessary to do so. But let's just focus on her for a minute. She's unreliable and immature. You're logically going to have to support her for as long as you're together. You need to decide if you're good with that or not.

If not, call her bluff with her saying she's done. Tell her "good." When she almost certainly reverses course, you should actually be done with her. Good luck.

The hard truth is that it's more than likely a lost cause given the fact that you have a three and a half year sample size where nothing has ever changed. As such, you have no reason to believe it's ever going to. I'd say to sit down and talk about it, but it seems you have and always get dismissed.

That begs the question as to why you'd have agreed to enter into a legal relationship with him knowing all of this. Marriage isn't going to change anything. The relationship you have now is the same relationship you're going to have after signing a piece of paper.

Now, I realize I'm being very matter of fact here, but for context, I'm a guy and I'm happily married. I tell you this so that you understand I'm not being negative for the sake of being negative. I'm not at all anti-marriage. I love love and I wish you nothing but the absolute best.

To keep it simple, the two of you are fundamentally incompatible. Your sex life is honestly an afterthought in the big picture here. You've lost interest in having sex with him, because you're overall unhappy with him. Even if you started having more sex, that wouldn't change the fact that the other problems still exist. You're not being unreasonable to want intimacy in your romantic relationship, and that's beyond sex. It just simply doesn't exist here. Is that how you want to spend the rest of your life?

You need to understand that you matter. You're focused entirely on him and how he might feel and/or what he might do. But what about your happiness? Should you just resign yourself to being unhappy?

You have a lot of life left to live. You don't want to spend it miserable. You're not responsible for what might happen to him if you leave. Is he putting the same thought and effort into worrying about your feelings while constantly lying to you? Put that into perspective. Good luck.

First, I can't go so far as to say this is a healthy relationship. Is it better than your past of dysfunctional relationships? Sure. But you're sort of ignoring the fact that this relationship is dysfunctional.

You've been together for six months and are already engaged. Why? Even if we don't sit here and make an argument that this is entirely rushed, look at the entire premise of this post; you don't feel like you're in love with your partner. If that's the case, why would you agree to enter into a legal relationship with him?

You list out some very important attributes as it relates to compatibility. That's great. But you can't sit here and say that you have no doubt you'd have a happy and secure future together when you're again, literally here questioning whether you're in love. That's not someone who's secure in their relationship.

I'm happy that you're at least holding off on wedding planning until you figure this out. To address the situation around the "spark," what I'm struggling with here is how you define it. To me (I'm a guy and I'm happily married for context), the "spark" is working together as a team to remind yourselves why you fell in love in the first place. You don't need to be doing new and exciting things 24/7, but it can't never be happening either.

You see the spark as an obsession. Obsession is unhealthy. You should never need someone; you should want someone. But there's a difference between just not being obsessed with someone compared to feeling generally apathetic about the person. It feels like the latter for you, and if that's the case, why would you be in a relationship with them, let alone be considering marriage?

Ah yes, the old accidental install, which often is the case. I'm obviously joking. It's quite difficult for an app to accidently be installed. He stumbled upon the App Store/Google Play. He then accidently typed "Tinder" into the search bar. He then accidently clicked it. He accidently confirmed the download. Having read that, does it not now seem completely ridiculous?

But then it didn't end there. That was just his first excuse. Then his friend must have done it. Because obviously people borrow your phone and download dating apps for themselves.

You then toss in the fact that he has a history of cheating. I mean, what's it going to take for you to walk away? He's obviously still cheating on you. The thing is, he's never going to stop. Why? Because he's been shown that there will never be any consequences for his actions. It's time to show him there are. Good luck.

The only red flag is anyone thinking it's a red flag. If anything, unless he's legitimately lying to you, which you have no reason to believe, you should consider it a good thing that he doesn't live his life through social media.

You might want to be careful taking advice from friends this insecure. Good luck.

You're right that it objectively makes zero sense at all. But instead of guessing, just message her and get the answer you need. Good luck.

You should acknowledge the reality that she still only wants a friendship. If you're good with that, then be friends, but you're logically not. That's perfectly fine, but you need to be honest about it.

It's honestly both sad and concerning that his mother is in the medical field and is completely ignorant of reality.

I'm the first person to come here and say that I don't condone snooping and that having a need to indicates that there's no trust in the relationship already, regardless of what you might find.

But here's the deal; it's done. You snooped. Turns out you were right not to trust him. But does you being wrong change the reality of the situation? Is he any less of a scumbag because you went through his phone? Of course not.

"It's over. You're a piece of shit who can't be trusted." You don't need to overthink the conversation. You don't need to approach this sensitively. You should know that the end game here is that you're ending the relationship. What do you want to work? A relationship where you're constantly disrespected? Respect yourself enough to walk away. Good luck.

Besides the fact that she's being completely illogical, you're two months in. She isn't in a position to have any input on your career choices.

But let's just keep it simple. You two are in an unhealthy relationship after only two months. You should be firmly in the honeymoon period right now. Instead, all you do is fight. You think this is just going to magically get better? It's time to walk away. Good luck.

This is unfortunately a situation where you need to either accept it or not.

What you need to understand is that this is an absolute non-issue and you're potentially throwing away a great relationship (if that's true) over someone that has no impact on your relationship.

I'm not sure if this will help or not, but anecdotally, I'm a guy and I'm quite happily married. If I'm being honest, I wouldn't objectively say that she's the best sex I've ever had; however, sex with her is absolutely amazing. If she were asked, I doubt I'd be the best either, but again, the sex is great. But am I sitting here ever thinking about them or comparing them? Nope. They're the past. Those guys your girlfriend was with are the past.

Again, you have to believe that she enjoys sex with you, or she wouldn't be with you. You need to be confident in that.

He's not cocky; he's insecure. For what reason would he say this to you?

Seems she only thought about them because you two decided to have that unnecessary conversation.

It's not a question of it probably being an insecurity; it's absolutely your own insecurities. It's certainly not an uncommon one, but it's ultimately one you need to work to remediate.

So there's a few things here. First, no one's holding a gun to her head to be with you. She's with you because she wants to be. She obviously enjoys sex with you. Comparing yourself will only make you crazy, and it's unnecessary. Even if you're objectively not the best sex she's ever had, it doesn't mean sex with you isn't great. You also might very well be the best she's had. Let that go.

Next, if you really have no other option but to break up with her because of this, then it unfortunately is what it is. Just understand that just about everyone you date is going to have a past.

Finally, you're sort of being a hypocrite. You're upset about her past. But you have a past yourself. Does having sex with other people change who you are as a person and partner? I assume not. As such, why would you look at her differently?

I wouldn’t necessarily say you’re wrong in the sense that this certainly should have been discussed without question.

But given that it’s over and done with, nothing inappropriate happened, and you had a great trip, I think you’re overreacting in looking at him differently.

No need to make assumptions. If there’s a moment, make a move. Profession is irrelevant. If he’s not at your pace, he’ll let you know.

What was the context of the two dates? If you want to sleep with him, set it up.

He's going to find out at some point given your work situation so there's no reason to make a big deal out of it.

To be honest, the biggest issue here is the dog. There's no way doing a "shared custody" situation is going to be sustainable. Separately, I'm not sure why that context matters here.

There's two separate issues here. First, if you're only taking this trip as a way to avoid your problems, you're still going to have those problems in Asia and when you return. You're refusing to get real help. You need to.

Second, I don't really understand what your trip has to do with your mother's surgery. You've never had any sort of relationship or provided any support. So why would taking a trip matter?

I think you could logically sit down and ask him how things are going and get to know him, but unless you've been openly rude, I think your girlfriend is overreacting.