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trishsf t1_jeek7qo wrote

I’m sober. Nobody OD’d because of you or drank themselves into a hole over you. It’s what we do and it has nothing to do with you. You obviously are in a pattern of choosing men with addiction issues. First. Go to Al-anon or Nar-anon. It’s for people who love addicts or alcoholics. You will learn so much. The most important thing you will learn is that you can’t fix these people. We have to want sobriety. I would suggest seeing a therapist. You do not want to build a life with an addict or alcoholic. We destroy everything good in our paths. We lie cheat and steal to get what we need. It’s a terrible life and it never ends well. Leave this relationship. Go to some meetings. See a therapist.

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Tired_penguin9678 OP t1_jeepzet wrote

This is actually the first relationship I have ever been in with someone who has any type of addiction problems. I didn't know he was at first obviously but then he started smoking around me and then one night after he stayed over I found pills in his pants and he lied to me about what they were saying they were just supplements. I have been seeing a therapist so hopefully things get better. I just feel so bad because I feel like I am giving up on them.

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trishsf t1_jeezeie wrote

You can’t help an addict. The only person who can help is the addict. He has to want to be sober. Then he would need to commit to sobriety. I really suggest Nar-anon. Ask your therapist about it. It would really give you more insight into the mind of an addict (scary place) and help you realize that you are powerless in this situation.

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