Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

ProfessionalOven5677 t1_iycr5xw wrote

I’m not sure if the approach of focusing on making the other person happy is the right. What about self-esteem, confidence, being happy and secure with how you are? What about liking yourself? For me that always comes first. Taking care of yourself is important. So have you even talked to her why she made those changes? How it makes her feel? How she felt about her appearance before? To me clothing can be very empowering, the right kind gives me confidence and makes me feel badass. Also what’s so wrong with experimenting a bit with your style at some point in life. Most women I know get bored of their hairstyle every now and then and Thema change from long to short time and let it grow out after.

Maybe I’m wrong with that, but when you compare it to how you would feel about changing your style for her, I think it’s different because I’m general (again I could be wrong and over generalizing) the role of style, hair, clothes etc for women is just different. A lot of women I know including myself love getting ready and doing some self care. Like face masks, hair masks, styling hair, make up, choosing a perfect outfit etc. So I think for many women those things are a way of expressing themselves, having fun and feeling god about themselves. While a lot of men don’t really care that much about their outfit and put less time in their hairstyle and picking clothes as long as they look kept together. And if that’s the case for you too, then changing you hair cut for someone is not the same as when you hair and style is very important to you.

2

[deleted] OP t1_iycsjgd wrote

[deleted]

1

ProfessionalOven5677 t1_iyct6d8 wrote

But has she ever let you pick what to wear or how to style herself? Also as a woman I just have to say I would hate for someone else to chose how I look. Yes I ask my boyfriend for opinions, like should I wear this skirt or this, or should I buy this thing etc. But I know if it was entirely up to him I’d be wearing a different style. And I can say that if I had to weak stuff that I don’t like (on myself), that I feel don’t fit my personality and style I’d be miserable. I’d be insecure and having more insecurities than I already have. It’s hard to describe but style for me is really an expression of personality, art and mostly how I want to be viewed and view myself.

And again have you talked to her about stuff like that, her feelings about her appearance, style etc?

3