Well, fixing ‘all your issues’ is going to be unrealistic and depression sadly ignores gender as a rule, so her instructions are going to be hard to pull off. Would working on ‘your issues’ with a therapist possibly help? You won’t be able to guarantee that depression will never happen again, all you can do is be proactive about it. Again, actions more than words will be your friend. I also don’t think that feeling of ‘hate’ is going to really go away, if you work on yourself. You will need to talk to tackle that. You also desperately need clarification, if she was also unhappy once you weren’t depressed anymore, as her comments keep suggesting as much.

You really showing her, how much she means to you, is great, but it won’t actually fix the underlying problem. You can’t keep up this level of energy until you two are old and grey - especially being non-combative if something is bothering you, is not a long term strategy.

How much is “too much” only you can decide - I don’t know her. Each person is different.

But yeah, I know I am repeating myself, but what you need is lots and lots of open and honest communication, even if it might not feel great at the time.