10+ years ago, it hadn't really hit a lot of people how insulting it was to do the headdress thing. I remember back in grade school (a lot longer than 10 years ago) how we would make feathered headbands out of construction paper while we were taught about the totally symbiotic relationship between the Native Americans and the pilgrims. We've learned a lot since then. We learn and grow as people and it's unrealistic to think people don't make mistakes, even racial ones.

Maybe bring up couples therapy. It can help define the paths you're on and whether those will be together or apart. Hopefully together.