Submitted by [deleted] t3_10q18ol in relationship_advice
_alebrije__ t1_j6nf69b wrote
Yea, you are.
This night was a night he was trying to make special and do something extremely nice for you and it seems like you just picked a fight on purpose at this point.
Did he cuss out the waiter? Did he make inappropriate comments about the waiter? Did he act like an ass to the service staff?
If the answer is No . Then why did you start a fight?
Because he tipped 10% ?
As someone who waitressed, bartended, and was a barista, 10% is a lot from a 19 year old. Also, if the restaurant was upscale or pricy, they probably included gratuity in the final bill aside from what you left for tip.
This was not the time or place to pick a bone over how much he tipped.
Well actually, what do you think? Do you think that it was worth ruining the end of the experience over a servers wage that has nothing to do with you?
Tipping culture HAS gotten out of hand. Its not up to the person dinning to make sure the server has a livable wage. Pressuring people to keep tipping is honestly whats going to keep these restaurants from paying them better.
Eta: for the future, i would of brought this up at a different time honestly. I get why youre irked at the 10% but saying people shouldnt eat out if they cant afford to tip is pretty messed up.
chefwalleye t1_j6nid4d wrote
You’re a confusing person. Did you work service jobs in the US? Cause you’re justification of “I’ve been there” doesn’t fit at all. Did you ever risk not eating because of your income when working the service industry? If not, maybe consider yourself lucky and realize you actually have no familiarity with the importance of tipping. Tipping can mean the difference on a single mothers ability to feed her children. But, in your opinion, it’s more important that a 19 year old can feel like a big shot even through they can’t actually afford their bill? If you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford your bill. I don’t care what jobs you’ve worked. You know nothing about the service industry in the US if you don’t know that’s true.
And BTW, I worked BOH most of my time in restaurants so I generally watched servers make more than me in less hours. I STILL understand the importance of tipping.
_alebrije__ t1_j6niukx wrote
Yea i did, I worked three jobs at once. Would i get annoyed that people wouldnt tip? Sure. Thats why i had three jobs, i didnt depend on the tips, those were never certain.
chefwalleye t1_j6njh0g wrote
Did you pull yourself up by your bootstraps too? People have every right to expect to be paid fairly for their work. The nuances of this argument get lost because people don’t realize how low minimum wage is for tipped positions in some states. Unfortunately, those also tend to the be some of the states with the worst tippers. If you know your server is underpaid and you pay less on your bill because of it, then you decide to not contribute to making up that difference, you are ab AH and essentially skipping part of your bill.
_alebrije__ t1_j6nlj8v wrote
Youre right, people have every right to expect to be paid fairly for their work by the people employing them.
Putting the difference on the client does nothing to help the industry get better. People should 100% be paid a livable wage without having to expect tips to supplement their income.
chefwalleye t1_j6nm72m wrote
Not tipping doesn’t fix this problem. Complaining about tipping on Reddit doesn’t fix this problem. Demanding higher wages for tipped staff is the only possible fix. Otherwise, your just skipping out on your bill to your servers detriment and justifying with a paper this moral argument about how it’s not your responsibility to fix society. It all of our responsibility to do our best. Stiffing your server is not that.
Misommar1246 t1_j6nrajs wrote
Tips are still expected in the 20% range in states where the waiters do have minimal wage. I think more and more people are just tired of these expectations despite the landscape getting better for waiters. I don’t know where OP is but my state has minimum $15 wage for waiters and still when you get a bill the tip percentage STARTS at 20% and you get the stinkeye for going lower.
chefwalleye t1_j6ns5hh wrote
If your servers get $15 an hour, the tipping argument doesn’t even apply. Some servers get less than $6 an hour and work places were 20% is the high end of the tips they’ll get. I think it’s pretty obvious who this does and doesn’t apply to.
Misommar1246 t1_j6o7ojj wrote
It’s not obvious to the servers or to Reddit, I assure you. Example: we don’t even know where OP lives and what the wage for servers is there and yet a lot of people on this sub think her boyfriend is cheap for tipping less than 20%.
_alebrije__ t1_j6nmsx2 wrote
Listen, i get what youre tryna say but it still falls onto the employers.
I worked my ass off working 3 service jobs and going to school full time while still having to find a way to have a roof over my head and food. There were times id go 24hrs from work to school to back to work then school again with naps in between.
It was fucken hell.
Having to depend on customers to tip me and having to deal with sexual Harassment with a smile so that i could be sure to get a tip, was fucken inhumane. I had to deal with people telling me some of the worst shit id ever heard all for a $10 tip. Having hot food and drinks thrown at me and me not being able to do shit all for the fucken tip, is inhumane.
Customers get to treat you like shit because they KNOW you expect a tip from them. Oh and employers not doing shit because they didnt want to upset the customer…yea no.
Employers need to pay their staff more.
chefwalleye t1_j6noknb wrote
Agreed. But again, not tipping does nothing to achieve that goal. You’re just hurting the servers to make a moral stance, supposedly for them. Let’s all push for higher minimum wage for tipped staff, but let’s not hurt those staff with our meaningless gestures.
_alebrije__ t1_j6nssbx wrote
Fair enough. Valid point.
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