Google conversational narcissism and defensiveness in relationships as that’s what he’s doing. And google emotional support skills, conflict resolution skills, active listening skills, and the importance validation in relationships as that’s what you want but aren’t getting. To be honest, trying to explain this to people like your bf doesn’t work. Those behaviors arent something that change with just an explanation, they’re usually pretty hardwired and don’t change unless they get therapy and years of it and even then it’s no guarantee it gets better. And even when they work on it, while you wait, you’re continually made to feel unimportant and less than by their single focus on themselves and that can cause or worsen any mental health issues you may have. Best thing to do with someone like this is tell them what you need that they aren’t giving you and leave. Find someone better suited for you, and hopefully if he meets enough people that point out the problem he’ll be motivated to fix it at some point, but hopefully he’ll do it while he’s single so he doesn’t hurt more people while he figures his shit out.