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Princess-She-ra t1_j6o3rpr wrote

General roommate rules still apply, with the added complications of it being a relationship:

  • Make sure you are both clear on finances. Who's paying for what. Who's doing what. If it's one of yours homes, and the other is paying rent, what happens if you break up?

  • Chores division. Who's doing what. Are we going to cook at home or order in? We LL we get a maid and gardener? Etc

  • Make sure to still have date night and romantic time.

Have fun. And keep an eye out for those red flags.

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sugarmag13 t1_j6odyll wrote

We see here daily that women carry most of the load in household duties. Some start out liking to play house, some feel guilted, some make excuses etc.\

Do NOT even begin that cycle.

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Loud-Situation2643 OP t1_j6ounnl wrote

I will probably be the one that will cook and clean the most because to be honest this is how I function, even when I’m alone.

But he will do his fair share, I trust him. He is aware of women tend to do everything and he absolutely do not want us to have this kind of dynamic

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sugarmag13 t1_j6p5fop wrote

Well, when you are alone you have no choice.

And while you cook and clean what will be his fair share?

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nothanksandthensome t1_j6olyl3 wrote

Aside from the usual things you mention that you and your boyfriend are already on the same page about, I would suggest talking about the following just off the top of my head:

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  • House guests rules

How much are each of you comfortable with having people over? How do you expect the other person to act and interact if only one of you has couple over, e.g. non-mutual friends? How will you deal with it if a family member from afar wants to visit or if a friend suddenly needs a place to crash?

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  • General planning

What counts as shared plans? If your boyfriend says "I'm making us pasta for dinner tonight", do you then have dinner plans together or is it ok if you spontaneously go for drinks with a coworker after work instead? How do you each expect the other to check in regarding individual plans? How much notice is acceptable if you want to make or break plans?

​

  • Sleep pattern / sleep hygiene

Is one of you a night owl and the other not? Is one of you really fond of the snooze button and will wake the other one up every 10 minutes for an hour before getting out of bed? How do you each feel about electronics in the bed or in the bedroom as a whole?

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Loud-Situation2643 OP t1_j6ou7dj wrote

That’s great ! We’ve already talked about the sleep schedule. I’m more of a night owl, he likes to sleep around 10pm/11pm. He wants to go to bed with me, so we bought a small reading lamp, that way he can fall asleep beside me and I can read till it’s time for me to sleep. We’ll see how it works !

For the other subjects we agree on the theory, we’ll see how it applies in reality

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