>But my gut was right. Don’t date someone I met at a bar. He’s quite controlling. Verbally and emotionally abusive. He gets livid if I stand too close to one of his male friends. He once berated me for days for being too close to his brother in an elevator. He’s crazy jealous of everything and everyone.

Meeting him at the bar isn't what's wrong with him as a partner.

>To my parents, one drop of alcohol is too much. They believe anyone who drinks has a drinking problem. My husband feeds their worst fears with his insane accusations. I tell them that he is just trying to isolate me from them. He’s trying to make them mad at me. He’s trying to distract everyone from his awful behavior toward me.

>Now he does not understand why I am so disgusted with him that he calls my parents and tattles on me.

You don't need him to understand. He has no reason to understand - you're currently putting up with his shit, have been since you started dating him, so why would he change now?

>Does anyone else understand where I’m coming from? It’s such a betrayal at the very core, right?

It's a cherry on top of the shit-sundae of a partner. Even if he hadn't called your parents about the alcohol, you should still leave him.