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darockerj t1_itkzhh9 wrote

I've been stuck on this ticket for a week and suck at asking people for help. Really convinced they'd fire me if given the chance - given how precarious things have been in tech lately, I wouldn't be shocked.

We'll see if this coffee and muffin can soothe me.

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Jusmine984 t1_itl0e89 wrote

I know this thread isn't for advice, so unsolicited here. As a manager in tech, I'd very much prefer my team to reach out earlier when they're stuck.

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darockerj t1_itl3w7t wrote

You’re right, and I know; I’m just bad at that. I feel like I ask too many questions for someone at the level I’m at and I worry it’d reflect poorly on me.

Also I only know two people who could help me and one of them was on vacation.

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haanssolo123 t1_itl5uo4 wrote

I worked a job where I took support cases/tickets for two years. I feel your pain. I did my fair share of sitting on cases for too long that I didn't know what to do with. It can be so damn overwhelming. I felt a lot of shame.

Finally, by the very end of the two years I had gotten into a groove of asking for help as soon as I needed it. What helped me the most was remembering that this is just a job and my performance does not really reflect on me personally. It reflects on the company and my manager. The just a job mindset allowed me to slowly come out of my perfection paralysis and just go thru the motions to get shit done. Asking for help is just one of the motions you have to go through to get a case solved.

You're not bad at your job or bad at tech, your company and manager have failed you. You didn't get the training you should have gotten and I bet your team is understaffed and the other people on your team are undertrained as well.

I'd recommend letting your manager know that you need help and you aren't sure who to ask. If they don't know the answer, hopefully they can help you find someone who can help. It's important for your manager to know if you don't have the resources you need to do your job. It's their job to help you succeed. And they need to know if you need better training or if they need to hire more people.

I finally got out of the support job and moved on to a much higher paying and less stressful job in tech in August of this year. You can do it too if that's what you want!

Let me know if you want to chat via DM. I know the struggle very well and I feel your pain!

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coconut_sorbet t1_itlklwh wrote

> I'd recommend letting your manager know that you need help and you aren't sure who to ask. If they don't know the answer, hopefully they can help you find someone who can help. It's important for your manager to know if you don't have the resources you need to do your job. It's their job to help you succeed. And they need to know if you need better training or if they need to hire more people.

100% this.

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coconut_sorbet t1_itlkh0c wrote

Tech worker for 2 decades here - everyone asks for help all the time no matter how senior they are! Just avoid asking the same question multiple times because that shows that you're not keeping good notes.

It's also strongly encouraged to ask people for recommendations of people to ask - if you only know two people to ask and aren't getting help from them, ask around to find a third person!

Being silently stuck and beating your head against the wall without letting anyone know is a very bad sign and that kind of shit will not reflect well on you. It's so much better to feel like an idiot and ask for help. Plus it's a skill that you will need to improve over your career.

Also, remember that people like feeling smart and important and helpful - you're actually giving them a gift if you ask them for help and they can help you!

Good luck!!!!

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darockerj t1_itlmb6x wrote

Thanks! Great advice, I appreciate it.

Only thing is that I feel like I'm better at asking for help in an office, where I can see who's busy and actually see how they react when I ask them for help. Being fully remote has been a tough shift for me, but I need to just get over that I guess, lol.

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coconut_sorbet t1_itln8f7 wrote

Yup, getting better at this stuff is hard but super important. Being remote adds an extra level of discomfort. Cut yourself some slack (no pun intended) for feeling uneasy, take a deep breath, and take the first step.

Also, it helps if you have your presentation kinda streamlined. "Here's a synopsis of the problem, here's short bullet points about what I've already tried and where I've made progress. I need help figuring out Obstacles X and Y, and don't have login access to Z."

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darockerj t1_itlqhx1 wrote

Great advice, thanks!

I think my initial impressions were off by starting on a team that wasn't always receptive to questions (really kinda toxic), so I got that drilled in my head. Gonna need to get over that at some point, haha.

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zensucht0 t1_itl5s2w wrote

Can confirm. I've been in tech for 30 years. Ask someone, if they can't give you the information you need, ask them who might be about to help. At the very least it will show that you're being proactive. And keep notes about who you talk to, could come in handy if you're still learning the org and the associated areas of responsibility.

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