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Scoobydoomed t1_j8bxvip wrote

Reply to comment by chrisdh79 in Cultivating a sense of perspective about pet loss can lead to post-traumatic growth after their death by chrisdh79

What are adaptive strategies?

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lawsarethreats t1_j8c8ieg wrote

In general, adaptive emotional regulation strategies are things like mindfulness (meditation, journaling, body scans to assess physical symptoms of your mental state) and CBT practices like recognizing cognitive distortions (which is a whole thing, hard to summarize) and actively working to shift your perspective/reaction to things, especially to difficult and negative thoughts.

The article seems to be trying to say that mindfully processing the loss of a pet reduces the negative emotions and thoughts that come with the loss. Which…yup. Sure does.

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teamweed420 t1_j8cg6x9 wrote

Good stuff. I wanna add a lot of it comes down (at least personally) to being aware of self-criticism. it has no value. Mindfully practicing self-compassion when I felt myself becoming self critical was huge for lifting my negative bias of the world

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hanlonsaxe t1_j8dxo8i wrote

Can you correct an assumption I have if I am wrong.

Int self criticism how we improve as people? Reflect, criticise, change.

The criticism isn't necessarily negative, and not useless in that context. But maybe there is something more specific I am missing or am just generally out of touch?

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teamweed420 t1_j8e11u7 wrote

You can give yourself those same self critical messages in a self compassionate way.

I have achieved my goals in life and always thought it was because I was being maniacally self critical. Almost to the point of self loathing. It will get you there, but you will not be happy longterm.

I underestimated how important it is to keep the positive and uplifting internal tone when delivering these messages to yourself. Recognize the changes you need to make; but know when to give yourself a break too.

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tsowmaymay t1_j8egm5x wrote

I'm at the very, very early stages of trying to work through this with a therapist. I spent this weekend trying to catch myself when I was being overly self-critical. When I did catch myself, I tried to practice self-compassion and I noticed that I'm having a lot of troubling believing myself/believing the uplifting and compassionate inner tone/inner dialogue. I felt like I was just trying to trick myself. Did you go through this too and if so, any tips to actually believing your compassionate inner voice?

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teamweed420 t1_j8engqa wrote

My therapist told me to kinda treat my mind like it’s someone who I’m friends with coming to me asking for help on anxiety. And try to focus on perspective - so many people have it much worse than you. You’ve got a roof over your head. You’ve got more than enough time to fix how you feel. Take a deep breath. Things are going to be ok.

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PhesteringSoars t1_j8e0bt4 wrote

You mean "Stop crying and get over it, it was only a dog. It's not like a person died.", isn't the right frame of reference?

When I was a child, "pets" were something you owned. NOW, they're more like a (lesser but true) "member of the family".

Something tells me when men were hunting buffalo and sabretooth tigers were hunting men . . . pets were "members of the family" then too, and we've come full circle.

As it should be.

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Prairiegirl321 t1_j8bz75b wrote

No details of any kind are provided about the strategies. It’s like a half-written article.

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