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SlowMope t1_jdift9h wrote

Reply to comment by Fthat_ManaBar in Individuals with secure emotional attachment are more likely to forgive and to be forgiven, study finds by chrisdh79

I'm gonna be honest. Both of you sound like you need some decent therapy.

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candidateforhumanity t1_jdj7w0h wrote

what makes you say that?

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SlowMope t1_jdjbovz wrote

You can't quantify trust like that. It's more nuanced and it isn't healthy to view relationships with others as so hardline, it will harm your friends and family for no benefit and can result in a self fulfilling prophecy kind of thing. They can tell you don't trust them, so they can't trust you, so you can't trust them....

Additionally, you need a basic level of trust in society or you have driven straight to paranoia town.

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groundchutney t1_jdjtv80 wrote

I think expressing trust as a percentage like that is more to get the point across than some sort of internal metric the person keeps track of. Boils down to "if you burn me, we can still be friends but i will keep my gaurd up" which seems pretty reasonable. You don't trust everyone equally to begin with (or shouldn't anyway.)

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SlowMope t1_jdjx80w wrote

Eh, to me it read as a very hardline stance. Who knows with the internet.

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GMarius- t1_jdkkbxk wrote

I believe the two individuals above were talking about truly broken trust. Not their friend ate part of your share of the popcorn at the movies. Like your gf/ bf cheats on you. Would you ever trust them again? Probably not.

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PirataFlamboyante t1_jdmjcgt wrote

Agreed. It's their prerogative to have this mindset but i wouldn't necessarily endorse it. I think that not forgetting someone's transgression, letting it creep always in the back of your mind when building/rebuilding a relationship with them, kind of ruins the purpose of forgiveness. Don't mistake my words, i'm not saying you shouldn't build and enforce boundaries, and take measures if broken, but setting something for failure beforehand, it's as the previous redditor pointed out quite a clear example of self-fulfilling prophecy.

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