Submitted by BoundariesAreFun t3_y6h4rq in science
disdkatster t1_isqd5hn wrote
Edit: Oh WOW! I just now learned that this was a medical problem for Black women! Seriously I had NO idea. The only women I knew who did this were white women and the black women I know/knew went natural. No wonder people are pissed at what I said. My apologies! I am leaving it up because it is important reminder that far too often we just don't know what we don't know and we should NOT respond to a title without reading the article.
Original comment
[I have never understood why women who have curly hair straighten it and women with straight hair curl it.]
Edit: seems that all sorts of people are taking great offense by this. I never said that women should NOT do either one of these things. Yes I know TV, movies, advertising shows women as Barbie dolls and we have swings in when curly hair or straight hair is seen as 'beautiful'. So in some ways it is about what is 'fashionable' but there is also this underlying push to be dissatisfied with who you are. That is what I am curious about. I am disappointed that people chose to be offended rather than wonder what it is that seems to push us to do what we do. My hair is a bother. Why don't I just shave it off? Why don't men do what we do (with the exception of comb overs)? Or maybe they do and I don't know about it.
tipsygrape t1_isqmyg8 wrote
Frizz. It’s all about the frizz.
disdkatster t1_isqscbl wrote
What is wrong with frizz? I love frizz. It is what you would expect an angel to have. A lovely halo. I also love some straight hair. Hell, I would be happy to have a thick head of hair of either type (mine is mousey brown, thing and supper fine). So I guess we all want what we don't have. I also don't get fake eyelashes but I might have when I was in my 20s. Mostly they look like a bug crawled onto someone's eye. Tastes are very individual.
tipsygrape t1_isqsze3 wrote
Tastes are subjective…like music, art, etc. I personally hate frizz. It’s unmanageable and ugly to me.
FiftyShadesOfGregg t1_isrw0cu wrote
A few things, for why women with curly hair straighten it. One is we were mocked for it as children. Even for white women (like myself), curly hair was universally considered an undesirable, ugly “nerd” feature. Look at the Princess Diaries— before: ugly, nerdy, unpopular Mia Thermopolis had curly frizzy hair. She gets a makeover to become beautiful, popular, Princess Mia Thermopolis Grimaldi— with straight, shiny hair. That was our example growing up. It’s hard psychologically to look at myself in the mirror with curly hair and not see my 12 year old self, and my 12 year old self was told I was ugly.
For black women and girls, they have the added issue of racism. Natural hair is ridiculed as messy, unprofessional, undesirable compared to straight hair. I can’t speak to that experience but I know it’s a very prevalent one.
On a lighter note, curly hair is very difficult to care for and maintain. For me following a curly girl wash day routine takes about 2, 2.5 hours. At the end of it, my hair often looks awful and I have to put it in a bun right away. It’s constant trial and error of numerous, expensive hair products and techniques and I spent two years trying to figure out what my hair liked and I still failed. Treated hair you know what you’re going to get. It can take only 5 minutes to dry after a shower and it looks good. It’s hours and I get hours of my time back. And again, hair maintenance can be even more difficult for black women who have even more difficult hair types. So those are some of the reasons why curly haired women treat our hair.
disdkatster t1_issun3r wrote
Keep in mind I grew up during a time when women with straight hair often had their hair 'permed' even as children. So I remember having frizzy, poufy hair and loving it. Of course it ruined your hair and once when I had been using lemon juice on my hair followed by a perm, the lightened hair (it was a streak - 60s ;) ) turned to goo and broke off. For the women I knew with very curly hair they got hours back in their life when they gave up straightening it. In the opposite direction I got hours back in my life when I stopped wearing make up and curling my hair. Those hours can be a real pleasure and entertainment for people. I remember when it was for me. I am more curious though why in general we are not satisfied with who we are and pick opposites of ourselves to model ourselves on. Just curiosity. No criticism meant.
FiftyShadesOfGregg t1_isulpf4 wrote
Personal preference was only one of the things I listed. Racism regarding natural hair styles should not be ignored in conversations about chemical relaxers.
As a curly haired person, using a straightening iron is time consuming, yes. Styling curly hair is also incredibly time consuming, as I explained above. I takes hours. What actually saves time is relaxers, which is what are being talked about here. Your assertion that curly haired friends all saved tons of time wearing their hair curly instead of the alternative of a relaxer doesn’t ring true at all, unless they’re exceptionally blessed with curly hair that is easy to maintain.
As to why we aren’t happy with what we have, I explained that too. There are countless examples of “makeovers” in pop culture where curly hair is straightened, and where nerds who are mocked and considered ugly have curly hair.
disdkatster t1_isun8xl wrote
Sorry you feel it necessary to suggest I am lying. I am sharing my experiences and my thoughts. Not my business to make decisions for other people. That is their business.
Emotional_Ant5163 t1_itui9ik wrote
I strongly disagree with the time you take to care a curly hair × Straightned hair (I had already both). When you have curly hair, you take more time washing and waiting to get dry.
But when you get it straight you have to wash more frequently because your hair doesn't suck the oils produced by your scalp anymore. Beside that, you will have to start to blow-dry your roots after 1 month because they are growing curly. If you try to do the quimical straightening each 2 months, you will spend a loooot money, your hair will be destroyed with so many aggression and you will have to spend a lot of time in hairdresser. (It takes at least 3 hours to get the treatment done).
FiftyShadesOfGregg t1_itvy08s wrote
it sounds like your curly hair was happy with just regular brushing and air drying? Mine was not, and a lot of girls' isn't (particularly those who opt for relaxers). So add in time for brush styling and diffusing (diffusing took an hour). My curls never looked good the next day, so I'd have to re-wet and style (or just put it in a bun). My curls were really picky and finnicky, because my hair is low porosity and fine. So for me, curly hair took way longer than what you're describing. I get a Brazilian blowout every 4 months or so, and for the entire time in between blow drying takes like 5-10 minutes, OR I can actually let it air dry, something I could never do with untreated curly hair. The treatments do cost a lot of money, so that's the trade-off. But the time saved is the biggest factor for me!
Emotional_Ant5163 t1_itw0t10 wrote
You don't have curly hair. If you had, would be impossible to air dry after 1 month you have 1 cm of roots already of hair with different texture.
[deleted] t1_itwdyqe wrote
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safetyalpaca t1_isqin67 wrote
I mean it’s not like every person in those groups do those things
disdkatster t1_isqro4r wrote
I don't believe I said that or implied that. It is not as bad now as it was when I was growing up but when I was a child I loved my friends hair which was very curly and white blond. The first thing she did when she got old enough was to straighten her hair so she looked like the 'cool kids'. My hair was straight as could be and my family gave me permanents to make it curly. When I grew up I then move to the other side of the country and made friends with a women who would not go out in the rain or damp, spent hours making her hair straight and was never happy with it. Then after years of this she said screw it , let it go natural it was beautiful.
Men do this with losing hair. To me the worse thing in the world is a comb over, while bald can be very attractive.
This is MY take on things. Not telling ANYONE what they should do. I just have always found it a bizarre human characteristic. Not sure why people are pissy about this opinion.
ammonium_bot t1_isrwvg4 wrote
Did you mean to say "losing"?
Explanation: Loose is an adjective meaning the opposite of tight, while lose is a verb.
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SparkleKitty t1_isr0esw wrote
You want what you don’t have
disdkatster t1_isr25m9 wrote
Yeah, so it seems. I envy the dense curly hair because I don't have it and never had to fight with it. I still think it is beautiful though.
[deleted] t1_isr1jgy wrote
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