Doghead_sunbro t1_iwyg9kz wrote
Appreciation feels like it should be replaced by a much more specific term here: mattering.
I have been recently reading up on the emerging concept of mattering, or the need for human beings to matter to someone, and like their life has significance in the world. It’s compelling stuff, though mostly in a theoretical stage at the moment. I think it addresses some of what people have described in terms of appreciation being either insincere or insufficient.
Mds_02 t1_iwyof7w wrote
>the need for human beings to matter to someone, and like their life has significance in the world.
This was exactly what drove a lot of my affection for my wife. Even when we were “just” friends, before we were together romantically, she made me feel like I mattered. Caring for her and attraction toward her were already present, but I think this was what turned those feelings into actual love.
tornpentacle t1_iwzdkjw wrote
Is there actually a difference? One could just as easily say "I tried to make him feel as though he mattered, but he thought my efforts were contrived". They're synonymous.
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