One of my favorite Springfield memories: I lived in a neighborhood over by bass pro, and a very friendly family approached me while I was pounding cigs on my front porch. It was October. A little chilly. They informed me of the Halloween thing that their church was throwing. They were pleasant, a little pushy, but very polite. I said I wasn’t interested, they thanked me for my time, and moved on.

Not 20 minutes later this second family that was clearly following them crawled out of the shadows like neurotic morlocks from an HG wells novel. They informed me everything the other family had told me was a lie, and Halloween was the devils festival, and that Harry Potter was a warlock, etc etc. they handed me a xeroxed collage of pure unmitigated antisemitism and insanity, before scurrying back in to the night like wounded raccoons.

It was an interesting evening. And I kept checking that I had locked my front door the entire night.