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mbanson t1_j9i1cwc wrote

Reply to comment by tosser1579 in Tifu by deleting my boyfriends pokemon scarlet saves by Bee-Banana

>My wife hasn't forgiven me for things I did while we were dating

Yeah this doesn't sound great either man. There are certainly things that take longer to forgive someone for, but not sure if those are things that are compatible with a continuing relationship.

I think we just have different views maybe of what is considered "forgiving" someone and what is considered continuing feelings of... Whatever it is, anger/disappointment/betrayal.

I can forgive someone for something they have done, that doesn't mean I am over my feelings about it, it just means it's moved on to the next "phase" of forgiveness.

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tosser1579 t1_j9i2dvb wrote

I see. I'm using it in the psychological sense of actually forgiving someone, and you are just lying to make the other person happy. That's super unhealthy.

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mbanson t1_j9i3a1g wrote

That's not what I said at all. You can't begin to move on until you've forgiven the person. They are responsible for their actions, not your emotions or reaction. That's not lying to them, you can still be open about being upset still and any healthy relationship will work from that. But to hold out forgiveness until you feel like you are okay? That's a lot less healthy.

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tosser1579 t1_j9i9hed wrote

Your explanation is lying with extra steps so you can self rationalize.

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mbanson t1_j9i9l31 wrote

Lmao no it's not but I guess I shouldn't expect you to understand nuance and healthy relationships based on your previous comments. Have a nice life :)

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