TIFU by googling “xxx” at work.

Submitted by Myopic_Mirror t3_11cxsag in tifu

I teach English abroad so I was making a class on Valentine's Day for cultural exchange. I was sitting in the teachers office on my school laptop. I thought I'd tell the kids how "xxx" means "kisses" in text language.

Anyway, I thought I'd find a picture of text kisses to use in my Kahoot quiz so I absentmindedly typed "XXX" into Google images and pressed Enter.

I didn't realise, this was the worst decision I could have made. Suddenly, my laptop screen is absolutely filled with the most explicit adult material you could imagine. An NSFW mosaic of hardcore smut, legs splayed, close ups of genitals, the works. “Shit.” I sit right next to the door so anyone could have walked in. In a panic I exited the screen as quickly as I could and looked around me, I don't think anyone saw. Thank god no teachers were near me or even worse, any students.

TL;DR At school, currently making a class about Valentine's Day, googled images of text kisses by entering "xXX". Explicit pictures fill my laptop screen.

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Comments

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craz4cats t1_ja5n269 wrote

Uhh, try xoxoxo for hugs and kisses. Very SFW and SFS results even with safe-search off.

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Myopic_Mirror OP t1_ja5nek2 wrote

Lmao you’re right, I figured this out only when it was too late. Thank you 🤣

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tke494 t1_ja69yvz wrote

Not a fuck up. Didn't do anything. If you'd googled it in front of the students...

I once told a class of Taiwanese students that I didn't have a little brother. I have two little sisters. The problem is that little brother/sister are slang for penis and vagina. I'm male.

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Myopic_Mirror OP t1_ja6tuo4 wrote

It was though, it was at work and it freaked me out because people could have easily seen. Threw me off for the rest of the morning.

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Loopycann t1_ja90vnm wrote

Oh no! Only thing I really would be concerned about is if the laptop was the ‘schools’ and they monitored ‘history’. They would have access to the stuff you do on your school account. They can't access everything going just through their access to your ‘school acct. There are many ways for them to see what you ‘search’ on the computer, if they do have things installed on it. I wouldn’t worry. Your obvious , quick disconnect from the ‘search results ‘ will surely reveal your shock at ‘the results’.

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Myopic_Mirror OP t1_ja9o7wx wrote

Yea true, I deleted my history right after. Also to be honest the country where I am isn’t as technologically clued up as America and other parts of the world so I don’t think they monitor these things

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MacGyver-the-Cunning t1_ja5sb10 wrote

No one saw - except the IT guys, who monitor the network and should be monitoring Internet content filtering if it's a school.

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Myopic_Mirror OP t1_ja5sugj wrote

Honestly not sure if they have IT staff here. Tbh I think it’s ridiculous there is no block on inappropriate content like that. Not even safe search

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MacGyver-the-Cunning t1_ja5vkxf wrote

Overlooked the "abroad" part in the OP. Yeah, from what I've heard, a lot of other countries have more lax thoughts on Rule 34... In the US, we block it all.

I was tech for a K12 school district for 12 years. If even one picture made it through, there'd be emails and meetings.. I remember a kid bringing in a USB drive full of stuff and saving it to his Chromebook in 2020. The idiot saved it to a hidden folder on his local Chromebook storage called pr0n. I had keyword searching going on in my one management service, and it picked it up immediately. I called the principal, and asked him what he wanted to do. We set up a meeting with his (super religious) mom and him. Asked him flat out if he had explicit images on his laptop. He said no and showed us his Chromebook folder view with a smug face. The principal said "Mr. Matt..." with an equally smug face. I enabled hidden files. BAM! Porn everywhere. Glorious, copious amounts of fetishes that would make a Vegas showgirl blush. I thought the mom was going to beat him with a Bible...

Principal said to me after the meeting, "lightspeed is worth every penny."

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flohhhh t1_ja76ppf wrote

Just to get this right, a kid had porn on his computer and the principal was HAPPY (like in joyous) to expose him to his mum. What kind of country do you live in? So you a lot of mental health issues there?

(And no I'm not saying porn is fine for a 12 y.o. but neither is embarrassimg a 12 y.o. on purpose and feel happy about it.)

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MacGyver-the-Cunning t1_ja7c0iu wrote

No, the kid was 17. K12 is grades Kindergarten/0 to 12. I believe other countries would call it primary school? Not sure. The specific kid was an ass to everyone. There was a lot of backstory left out. Tearing apart textbooks so he could make paper airplanes. Breaking district owner devices because he would get upset at someone. I'd wager that he had undiagnosed Asperger's.

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scuba_GSO t1_ja7hxm9 wrote

Primary is essentially elementary and I’m fairly sure middle school levels, so basically through about 7th or 8th grade. Secondary is high school. Not all school systems are the exact same so YMMV.

Had to figure that out for a paper i wrote in grad school a year ago.

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LastPlaceStar t1_ja7fg30 wrote

So the fact that he was mentally ill and not able to get help makes it better...?

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MacGyver-the-Cunning t1_ja7jpnb wrote

No, but at the time, I didn't know. I just knew the kid thought it was funny that he would hand a Chromebook snapped in half to one of my techs saying "oops, I need a new one." I'm not sure if the principal knew, but he clearly had run ins with the kids several times.

I didn't know about Asperger's until this year, when a new neighbor moved in. Great guy, but something out of whack and he takes out frustration on anything around him.

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Myopic_Mirror OP t1_ja5vypv wrote

Oh my god, that’s really, jeez 😅 very interesting. People can be silly sometimes, including me. Yeah I don’t think Japan is clued up on technology stuff. People always say “Japan lives in the future” but I call bs, as someone who lives and works here they still use fax machines 🥴

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ElleTea14 t1_ja6x12w wrote

I once googled dicks.com at work thinking it was the sporting goods store - I wanted snorkel gear. I was so embarrassed and immediately told coworkers and IT in case that came up later!

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Ok-Ad5495 t1_ja74y4e wrote

The same thing happened to me on my ship. We were finishing up a deployment and I was looking for a kayak, and soon learned that dicks.com isn't where you go for kayaks, lol.

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cballowe t1_ja5q4jv wrote

Confirmed... That turns up porn (had to look - word on the internet for years has been that you have to use bing to get good porn results)

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socalmikester t1_ja6lfb8 wrote

at least it wasnt a search for "genital warts" like what popped up at work once. i think i know who she is, too.

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Barneslady68 t1_ja7sjlj wrote

If it makes you feel better, there’s a bidet company that exists and it’s called tushy. I went to the search bar to type in tushy.com instead of the actual bidet website that is buytushy.com lol. It was butt stuff.

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Pommeriginal t1_ja9gqj9 wrote

One of my students asked what the plural of compass was? I asked, "What do you think?". He responded, "cumpi?". Stumped! I suggested they look it up on the internet. The whole class within seconds had images on their screens I wasn't prepared for. Oops. Seems like education is for teachers too.

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Slash_Raptor92 t1_ja6t37o wrote

I thought Os were the kisses?

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CashWho t1_ja7pt80 wrote

Os are hugs

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Slash_Raptor92 t1_ja8encu wrote

When was this established?

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daemoen t1_ja8qc6q wrote

Since the beginning. O representing the circles of arms.

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Slash_Raptor92 t1_ja8rzki wrote

Huh, I thought X represented crossed arms and O represented lips locked.

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ZodiacShadow t1_jaaiddh wrote

May just be linked like that in your mind because everyone - to my knowledge - says "hugs and kisses", rather than "kisses and hugs", but the order tends to be x-o, not o-x.

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Zikkan1 t1_ja74xfr wrote

I got a bit panicky once as well when I used google to search something while driving so I had to speak to the mic instead of typing but google thought I said porn. I don't remember what I wanted to say but this was on my work phone and I don't know if they are monitored for keywords or something. Scared the shit out of me.

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Magmagan t1_ja7vq86 wrote

That's rough. I have a similar story, in college I was in a computer lab that was free to use for everyone. Naturally some people studied there while others used the place to hang out and be a bit rambuctious. I only used that lab to hang out.

One day, I was on my PC and was talking to a friend about some niche, kinda racy topic. We were trying to access some site but the uni VPN blocked it. We tried using website VPNs in Firefox, those were blocked, Opera's VPN, didn't work either. We gave up, or so I thought.

My friend had the brilliant idea of non-consentfully taking control of the computer and trying to access the website themselves. Except, they didn't open Firefox, or open Opera, they opened Chrome. Which most people use as their default browser right? Well, except for me, who had reserved Chrome for other purposes.

Cue hundreds of tabs loading and images of fully nude women showing up in full screen. EVERYONE in that lab could have seen my screen, which was facing the hallway as well. Porn for everyone to see. The reaction times weren't fast enough and people saw.

Lesson learned: don't mess with people's computers without permission... Dude was EMBARASSED

...

He then repeated the same mistake later by opening an app on my phone, without asking, that "looked like a game". Nope, hentai app. Goddamnit man 🤦

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Timmy24000 t1_ja89o3d wrote

Must be pretty naïve not to know XXX is for porn

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Myopic_Mirror OP t1_ja9obc8 wrote

I’m not naive, just mentally checked out and not paying attention

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