I'm really sorry for everything you've gone through and are going through. Fire your therapist. This isn't the right person for you. They violated your consent and you're right to be angry.

You don't get fucked up over night and you sure as heck don't fix yourself overnight. Clearly your mother needs a lot of professional help.

Can't say I know fuck all about the UK's health system. I do fully understand consent and any therapist worth a piss should too. The fact they didn't ask you if you were okay or didn't try to shut down everything right away is crazy.

Forcing someone who was sexually assaulted to touch someone. Get the fuck out of here with that. Is the therapist trying to inflict more trauma?

It is a process and it takes time. There's no way I could even possibly understand how you feel or what it is like to have gone through everything you have gone through. What I can tell you is it will get better. Sometimes it just takes a long time and it feels like forever.

With time you'll get to have the existence you choose. You can choose to leave people out of your life that are toxic and harmful to you. You can dictate the terms of your relationships. Family doesn't entitle them to do whatever they please. You can in fact force healthy conditions on love, they're called boundaries and your mother needs to learn how to respect them.