>TL:DR I got drunk in front of my girlfriend, and she left.

Considering that the TL;DR, and the "I was a big fan of her" comment, I think you're right.

Haha pretty sure you’re on to something

Maybe, but I think it's just a repost. I remember reading this a few years back. I remember the detail about hoolahooping on the bed. I remember her saying the thing about frat boys. I remember him being 22 and her expecting him to be more mature. Too many of the same details so my guess is just pure repost. Maybe a repost rewritten by an AI asked to do so.

At the very least it's a repost, I've definitely read the hula hooping bit before.