Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

elianrae t1_jdcw5hc wrote

Reply to comment by [deleted] in TIFU By snooping through my wife's phone by [deleted]

jfc if you think marriage means sharing absolutely everything all the time please go and get some fucking therapy

0

[deleted] OP t1_jdcydm3 wrote

aww...imagine you hv to curse to say an illogical arugment,

then if you hv to hide anything from your life partner then you are making the thing more and more SUS bout you.

1

elianrae t1_jdcyo5i wrote

so anyways do you share your toothbrush or is that an okay "personal" item to have?

1

[deleted] OP t1_jdcyvpd wrote

if my partner wants to use it, fine by me.

i'll buy a new one for me.

1

elianrae t1_jdd0gz3 wrote

yeah that's a fair and conflict free way to enforce that boundary but you're still ending up with personal stuff hey

like sharing everything sounds nice and romantic in theory but there are a lot of potential negatives to getting really deeply enmeshed

Sharing all of your interests and doing everything together leaves people lost and deeply lonely if their partner dies before them. Fully sharing finances (like no longer having individual bank accounts) leaves you more vulnerable to financial abuse. Snooping through your partners phone might just end up ruining your surprise birthday party.

healthy relationships are formed when two people with independent lives make space for something shared and build it together, not from subsuming themselves into the relationship until nothing individual is left.

anyway that's what I meant by my much shorter and somewhat ruder comment 😁

1