> And I said “Well can I get a handjob after so it’s a trade?” She said no.

This could be a flirtatious comment if you treated your girlfriend with respect but the rest of your post indicates that you do not view her as a human and you asking for a sexual transaction demonstrates that perfectly.

> I told my friends about details of our sex life. How she likes to get tied up. Slapped. Candle wax. Ect..

Did you ask her if it was okay to share these details with anyone? No? Okay this is a breach of privacy and trust. This just makes you a grade A prick.

> I said she has endometriosis. And got forced into an abortion when she was younger.

Again, breach of privacy and trust. Many women are fine with their medical conditions being disclosed. Did you ask permission to share either of these medical conditions/procedures? No? Okay, Grade A Prick.

> “I don’t know if I feel much for her. My ex broke me and made me numb. If things don’t work I’ll go for her best friend she’s cute “ Meaning my ex’s best friend.

Who is this funny to? It is not, to anyone, particularly your partner. HOW IS THIS FUNNY that you are saying she is second choice. At this point, I am wondering if you are 14... because then this post would made sense.

A joke is something you say to get some laughs. Who laughed at any of these things? Nobody. Maybe your friends laughed at your ex's sexual preferences... they would have been laughing AT her, not WITH her, which means it is a joke AT HER EXPENSE.

You are a piece of garbage. She deserves better.