TIFU by jumping in a family beef

Submitted by These-Blackberry5874 t3_xvwxio in tifu

TIFU Hey I'm really new to this reddit but I really do want to give my story this happend a while ago (me 19M Sister 22F) so I was sitting at my moms house with my sister, when my sister started annoying my mom (note my mother is very sick) so after a while of my sister none stop arguing and picking fights with our mother. She got really mad like really pissed, My mother wanted to get physical with my sister they where about to go fight.... So me 19m thinking shit I have to do something I jumped between them After that I got into a argument with my mother (this happend 6 months ago) I told my mom to stay calm but she was very angry she told me that I'm annoying etc as where I got mad and I told her I always pay for your groceries you should be thankful.. I know I made a mistake there and then because we got kicked out, I do have my own house so does my sister) so I went home and went to sleep (I always used to eat at my moms place)

BUT after the beef there hasn't been any contact not with my mom or my dad because my dad always side's with my mom, everytime I go grocery shopping I see them sometimes but they just ignore me

It hurts to the core to see your sick mother ignore you... I know I made my mistakes but I really don't know what to do anymore I tried texting my dad on WhatsApp but I only get the blue read check...

And it just hurts to not see them or know how they are

I hold a big place for them in my heart

Idk why I'm posting this maybe I want to get it off my shoulders maybe I'm looking for someone to give me a small piece of advice that can safe me alot of headspace, but it just hurts to see your own folks ignore you..... Thank you for reading!

update : 3 october i became 20 years old
it feels so weird not celebrating it with my mom or dad :(

TL;DR so in short
there was beef between my mom and my sister
i jumped in between now i dont have contact

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NostradaMart t1_ir6gihv wrote

don't be so hard on yourself, your mother sounds toxic as fuck....At your age family doesn't end with blood, it's who you choose to love and ad to your life. build yourself a new family that loves you for who you are. good luck !

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These-Blackberry5874 OP t1_ir6k0o4 wrote

W

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Zapora t1_ir9uh3u wrote

The phrase "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" comes to mind. The saying actually means that bonds that you've made by choice are more important than the people that you are bound to by the water of the womb.

Do yourself a favor and find love in your not-blood family. Sounds like they're caught up in their own emotions. (If it's that serious to them, maybe you hit a nerve and exposed a little reality for them hmmmm) They'll either come around or they won't and honestly you should try to only worry about that to a point if you can. Best of luck in the future.

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This-Layer-4447 t1_ir3uxwf wrote

Your mom is messed up. Set boundaries on how much they will let you feel bad. Live your life to make yourself happy. Once your parents see that they ignoring you doesn't control you, they will be nicer.

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AnonzyAccount t1_ir3mckr wrote

Something similar happened to me earlier today. If the argument was worth fighting for, It wasn't a bad thing for you to jump in. I don't even think there's a logical reason as to why your mom would need to make things physical anyways, but that's just me.

Whatever happened, happened. If they still want to hold a grudge over it, don't beat yourself up over it. Its been months since that happened, and its stupid to think that playing the quiet game will help. (Self experience on that part. It just ends in years of wasted time over something so stupid...)

Either way, If this still bothers you, I'm sorry. It's not your fault for what happened, and you did your best to help. If your parents choose to burn a bridge, its best to stop trying to put out the flames.

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These-Blackberry5874 OP t1_ir4zf7o wrote

thanks for the advice and the kind words sometimes moving on and getting some clear thoughts are so hard in life

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pooplingpo t1_irbowt9 wrote

If your parents are ghosting you over just this, they've probably been horrible to you for a long time. It can be hard to move on, but once you accept that as your course of action, it will be easier to make advances with it

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ForeverAgamer91 t1_ira6n0y wrote

Your family sounds trashy and like you're better off without. You got kicked out at 18 by people that would get physically violent with their grown-up children whilst very sick and then refuse to talk to the teenager who tried to break it up.

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FortressOnAHill t1_ir4jhmk wrote

No one is going to comment on this guy having a house at 19 years old?

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These-Blackberry5874 OP t1_ir4zk6j wrote

got kicked out when i was 18y old

saved up alot of money to Indeed rent a house

worked 2 jobs just to afford rent and groceries

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sniff3 t1_ir4mj7m wrote

I've been thinking about this for a while. So is there only one grocery store in the area or something? Could you possibly change your shopping schedule to a different day or time of day?

If that doesn't work. You have known these people for 20 years now... you should have a pretty good idea of how they act and think. Take a page from The Rehearsal and hire a couple actors to play your parents. Next you run through different dialogue trees (with the actors) until you figure out the correct responses to get your desired outcome.

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