Lmao mannn. You’re probably young because you don’t see those clear red flags. Caring about childhood crushes is very toxic teenager and so is responding the way you did (we’ve all been the toxic teenager just learn from it) But listen to this. you are beating yourself up way too much. coming from someone who used to do the same internally, please look at your own self esteem. It isn’t easy but train yourself to be nicer to you, even when you make mistakes. This kind of self view is only destructive to yourself and the other people that have love for you. You’re valuable