This is not a you problem, it is your mom’s problem. Lay everything out for your boyfriend and let him decide if he wants to wade into the lion’s den. If he sees it firsthand, it may make him empathetic to your situation. I have 4 kids and, honestly, I haven’t liked all of their partners, but I don’t let them know it. Their partners never had a clue because I treated them as I would treat anyone else. I’m sorry you got a raw deal in the mom department. It looks like your dad learned how to handle her behavior. Just act indifferent to her opinions because she probably enjoys that she can get you so worked up. Good luck to you.