I was one of those saying it wasn't love. I'm still saying it now. I KNOW it feels like it, because I had a similar phase with a dude, feeling like he was the fucking one. I was 18. Stupid. No fucking idea what love was, at all, but I thought I'd know it when it hit me. I did. It wasn't with him. He's a distant, pale memory to me now.

Love is shared. I get the feeling you strongly adored him, and he didn't reciprocate. It's not weird we don't believe you were actually in love yet. I've seen a lot of young relationships burn hot and fizzle out even faster. Tack the LGBTQ+ tag and it can go faster still. The number of times I've heard my darling coworker say something like, "I think I've found something really special in him." after a couple of weeks is astounding.

I fell in love with my husband in roughly 3 months. So same sort of time frame. So it's possible, I guess, but...real love...I mean real love...is incredibly rare, especially when you're young...18, 19 is young as fuck. Keep your guard up against your emotions, is all I'm saying. A lot of them might be more fleeting than you think, and you'll only damage yourself more by dwelling on them instead of letting them process and pass.