Dude I am 43, and once upon a time I was 20 as well and guess what? I went through similar shit if not worst. At that age we do not have the mental fortitude to deal with such betrayal and manipulation. The only advice I have for you, be in love with yourself the most, think of your parents, siblings or whoever is close to you before you think of ending your life. Grab your fucking psychosis by the throat, its nothing but "How could she do this to me". If your emotions are unchained go on a treadmill and run. Your brain is overcome with excess fucky hormones, workout to generate the good happy hormones. If its legal and you can handle it smoke a reefer (nothing harder than that). Your life is not just one hoe, you have to live to see the aliens invade earth and lizard people come out in the open to defend the planet.