Submitted by thedirkfiddler t3_yxj8yk in tifu
TIFU by hooking up with my ex
This happened a week or so ago, we’ve been broken up for about two months but spent the last week sorta rekindling/hooking up.
Anyways I was at home smoking some weed and minding my own business, she had went out drinking with some girlfriends and ended up texting me around 11pm asking if I was ready for her. Me being a man of course I say yes.
Anyways she comes over and immediately gets naked, we start doing the freaky freaky and as per usual when she is drunk she wants it doggy style.
So anyways we continue going, she says to me “you know what I need” and I’m like “yup I do” like a good old golden retriever. I give my old thumb a good lick and insert it into the back door.
We keep going for a few more minutes and decide to change positions, it’s at this point when I pop the cork I realize I had some doodoo on my thumb, me not caring I jump up quick and go to my washroom to clean said thumb before we continue. This is where she asks what I’m doing, I quickly tell her I’m just cleaning your shit off my thumb. Well, that wasn’t a good idea. Apparently I killed the mood and it instantly reignited a fight 😂
Why did I bother cleaning my thumb off, how much was actually on there, etc. it was enough that it covered my thumb nail, I wasn’t going to rub that in her hair or my bed.
I thought I was being a gentlemen by cleaning my thumb instead of rubbing it all over her, but I guess I embarrassed the shit out of her.
TL;DR hooked up with my ex, opened the back door with my thumb and got some doodoo on it, cleaned it off and ruined the mood by being considerate, did not finish.