Look, people have been doing enough criticism without the constructive part. Yes, we can all acknowledge that this was a life changing event. The question is what is appropriate moving forward.

My first thought is don't contact her. Anything between you and her is now forevermore completely up to her.

My next thought is that despite the immense difficulty involved in acting out this decision, go to the police and report the sexual assault. Yes this could be emotionally damaging to the woman having to relive this, but if it isn't dealt with in a positive therapeutic way it will have much bigger psychological impacts if left unaddressed.

Doing that is incredibly difficult and scary. Thinking that is selfish. It's also COMPLETELY NATURAL to be worried about the consequences to yourself. We are people, not messiah's.

You have a choice to do something scary but is right. You will still have a life moving forward. You will correct these actions. You didn't drunk drive and kill someone.

I'm not certified in any way to give counsel or shit like that, this is just my thoughts. It is bad, it could have been MUCH worse. Take responsibility, and I truly wish you the best moving forwards with your life.