Sounds like you not only have anxiety but BPD (boarderline personality disorder) we tend to self sabotage. If there is no way to find him fb, twit, insta, then you gotta learn how to forgive yourself for this things and learn to be more open. I am unipolar, bpd, anxiety, ptsd, introvert. I learned how to open up to people by just treating everyone that I was talking to by acting like I've known them for years. When its one on one its a little easier