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mhck t1_j1ri4me wrote

Reply to comment by L3Jane in Tifu by bailing on my boyfriend’s family’s Christmas by [deleted]

I suppose some people are so principled that they walk out on their entire relationship because their boyfriend happens to have been raised in a fairly typical heteronormative household, or because that same boyfriend has some relatives they disagree with politically. Many, many Americans spent yesterday in homes where the women cooked while the men watched TV, and where they got annoyed with their relatives who baited them about their policies. If that was the bar for “so toxic you need to leave” the January divorce rate would be nearing 100%. It’s not great. It’s not okay in the sense that we shouldn’t try to improve it. But it is unfortunately normal and common enough that some of the onus is on the individual to better manage their ability to respond to it.

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L3Jane t1_j1rqm4v wrote

It’s the first time she’s met the family and at this first meeting, the father waits for her to be isolated and the intentionally starts asking provoking questions to get a response from her? The boyfriend makes sexist comments at her expense (enough to cause embarrassment)?

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Initial_Influence428 t1_j1u9ekq wrote

That’s what stuck out for me, not only did BF leave her alone for the inquisition, he started picking on OP. If he behaved that differently around his family the FIRST TIME be brought her around, his ‘good behavior’ when not around them is a lie. That’s who he is for real, he showed her and she should believe him. You deserve better, OP, and leaving that toxic environment was a good first move for your self preservation. Take care

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TucuReborn t1_j1ymvn0 wrote

I'm a dude, and I'd have done the same as OP. I'm left leaning, and if my SO's family started picking me apart and my SO joined in, sorry, it's over. You're supposed to have each other's back, not... this...

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