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Usagiboy7 t1_j66iuas wrote

Reply to comment by Unpleasant_1 in TIFU by asking my friend to take their socks off which led to the end of our friendship and A messed up digestive system . by Unpleasant_1

It's not just socks. If somebody says no about something that is rightfully their own decision, drop it. People have private reasons for all sorts of decisions they make for themselves. I'm glad you learned this about socks. Hopefully you'll take it as a broader life lesson as well. We are going make mistakes in life. That is a given. It is up to us to grow as much as we possibly can from it. I trust that ypu can and will.

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Unpleasant_1 OP t1_j66zv0x wrote

Also I will have to learn the difference between encouraging someone and pressuring them.

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any ideas?

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Usagiboy7 t1_j6748dk wrote

Trust that people can make their own choices about stuff.

If you take off your socks and enjoy the carpet, they'll join you if they want to. And they won't, if they don't want to. This is just an example. The idea behind it applies to a lot of situation beyond socks.

I personally like to communicate directly, because Ive misread situations and social cues more than once. So Im likely to just ask someone, "Is this something you would like encouragement for/about or would you like me to drop it?"

I'm not a mind reader. And most other folks probably arent either. So, I don't like to pretend that I am or that my friends are. My friends are used to me being direct. And increasingly, they are becoming more direct too. It's a relief, honestly. It feels good to not have to guess.

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