Honestly both of you sound like you contributed to a super unhealthy relationship. Like, super unhealthy. Both of you have a lot of blame on this, so I don’t think your husband is “the devil” based only on what’s listed here, but I’m sure there’s other things behind the scenes you didn’t include that he’s done. But to me it sounds like you both played a major part in this. You wanted to be with this other woman, but also stay with this dude at the same time, which is just so weird I can’t even understand it

Tl;dr: your husband is definitely NOT a psychopath, but you both have major issues and both equally contributed to the situation you’re in now. Seriously idk how you think you’re the good guy here when both of you made some incredibly stupid decisions