I maybe out of pocket but it comes off as you being ungrateful and resentful. You note what he was doing the fall back on “but I did”. It undermines what he was doing and comes off like it’s not enough. You note he helped a little while doing x or x and y. Then fall back to then throw shade cause you were only doing one thing while on leave.

You comment about money problems… while he doing what it sounds like to solve those and then trying to put in work.

I feel like this is similar to a scenario with my sister. She had kids. She lost SO MUCH time. I feel bad, she missed out on a lot. Her man worked his ass off and tried to be there when he wasn’t tired or beat. He hid it. He would talk to me all the time about how much of a failure he feels like as a dad. Like how he never there. How hard it is and how his kids are close to my sis and kind of with him.

My sister said stuff to him like this and it destroyed him. He never recovered. I wonder if your husband has these thoughts. You should talk to him. I bet he wants to be there.

Idk if you’ve ever switched your body’s clock to another shift but you can’t just flip it for one night. I abused sleep meds to do this. I’m 38 and paying a hard price for this. Breathing issues, head pains, and other issues all cause I worked nights for 7 years and would up n down my sleep by taking a Benadryl or Tylenol sleep till my stomach bled. But hey I paid the bills and still did shit I wanted right?

I’m not meaning to attack you but I think your lost in your feelings and thoughts and definitely think your disconnected from your hubby and the true impact of your words and thoughts of what he should be doing.