"Everyone said I was daft to hide my army a swamp, but I did it all the same, just to show them. They drowned in the swamp. So I conscripted a second army. They drowned in the swamp. So I conscripted a third. They tried to run away, fell over, then drowned in the swamp. But the fourth one got back out and ran to join the Viking army. The Vikings thought it was an attack and fought, but my army just smashed them and kept running."