602fay t1_iu7c3t2 wrote on October 29, 2022 at 2:41 AM Reply to comment by Mooses_little_sister in [WP] "I WILL NOT LISTEN TO THIS ANY LONGER" "But Your Majesty, the prophe-" "You want me to send a GODDAMN TEENAGER TO FIGHT WHEN WE HAVE TRAINED SOLDIERS" by JustLostInInternet I like it, but you dampen the impact of a big moment, of course this is a very small amount of the writing but I wouldn’t put a dozen words between “Not like what happened to—“ and her continuing “Not like what happened to me” Permalink Parent 1
602fay t1_iu7c3t2 wrote
Reply to comment by Mooses_little_sister in [WP] "I WILL NOT LISTEN TO THIS ANY LONGER" "But Your Majesty, the prophe-" "You want me to send a GODDAMN TEENAGER TO FIGHT WHEN WE HAVE TRAINED SOLDIERS" by JustLostInInternet
I like it, but you dampen the impact of a big moment, of course this is a very small amount of the writing but I wouldn’t put a dozen words between “Not like what happened to—“ and her continuing “Not like what happened to me”